[Jayne Osborn]

Have you heard the one about what the Market Stall said to the Supermarket?
No, neither have I, yet. So, let's see the goods...

Jayne

From The Oldie magazine:

Competition no. 152
by Tessa Castro

In theory I like street markets. In practice I often find myself in a supermarket. So, a dialogue in verse form, please, between the Market Stall and the Supermarket. Maximum 16 lines.

Entries to 'Competition 152' by post (The Oldie, 65 Newman Street, London W1T 3EG), email (comps@theoldie.co.uk) or fax (020 7436 8804) by 29th June. Don't forget to include your postal address.

[Brian Allgar]

"Market and Supermarket" ... wasn't that a play by George Bernard Shaw?

[Roger Slater]

This has to be one of the least appealing contest ideas ever. Did you hear the one about what my ass said to the Oldie's lips?

[John Whitworth]

I agree, Roger, but the upside is if you can write anything at all it has a better chance of success. Though you can bet Bazza and Bill will think of something.

[Roger Slater]

I looked up "market stall" as you guys use the term, and I'm not sure I have a handle on it. It seems to be what Americans might call a flea market, or a booth or table within a flea market. As such, it doesn't necessarily sell food or other items typical of a supermarket, but a wide variety of products that supermarkets don't sell. So I'm not seeing the contrast that the contest seems to be based on. Care to explain? Or not. I have a feeling I won't be entering in either event.

[Chris O'Carroll]

Given the context, I'm assuming that a market stall is roughly equivalent to a produce booth or stand or table at a farmers' market. So the dialogue they're looking for is basically a city mouse vs. country mouse sort of thing.

[Roger Slater]

I guess you're right. I pass.

[John Whitworth]

What they are thinking of is a stall selling fruit and vegetables mostly, found in a street market. This produce CAN be expensive and superior, if found in a 'farmer's market' but is not necessarily so. People often sound rather apologetic when they say they shop at a supermarket, though of course everybody does. Brought up in the 1950s having to queue for bloody awful service at a sniffy grocer and very dodgy fruit at a greengrocer, I LOVE supermarkets. Everything there and cheap, what's not to like?

[Brian Allgar]

There is a well-known London street market in Soho, and other towns have them too. As for Paris, it's full of street markets - not only fruit and veg, but also fish, meat, cheese, charcuterie, bread, flowers, clothes, utensils ... There are two of them within walking distance of our appartment, and it's infinitely more pleasurable than the dreaded trip to the supermarket.

[Adrian Fry]

Brian, are you referring to Berwick Street Market in Soho? I used to go there in the mid 1990s. The guys on the stalls were real characters but the goods usually overpriced and not terribly good.
As for supermarkets, they appeal to me about as much as this competition, especially now they try to force you to use automated checkouts, denying even a modicum of human interaction in your shopping experience. You might as well shop online, so I do.