[Alex Pepple]

Chronicles of the Clubs


Then love would blaze through us within a second—
just time enough to scan silhouette,
fête blonde or not, the homage honed on fecund
frame, face, as the allure was whet.
Insight distilled through years of twilit blights,
till left in homes
                                 beyond our bygone nights.

--------
L3: "fete" > "fête"; "chorus" > "homage"
L5: "Foresight" > "insight"
L6: "held" > "left"
L7: "yesterday's" > "our bygone"

[Glenn Wright]

Hi, Alex—

I had to struggle with the opacity of the language (which, especially in a short poem like this, can be a good thing). As a result, I am not at all confident in my reading.

The title gives a clue. “Clubs” probably refers to dance clubs with lots of beautiful or beautified women on display. The N surveys them mechanically or robotically, as if they are on an assembly line. “Scan, honed, and whet” contribute to this image.

“Fete” threw me. Is it the French word “fête” without its little circumflex hat? Is it a noun (a feast to honor someone) or a verb (to celebrate)? I am leaning toward the verb here.

The N quickly scans the girls in the club with an eye to their figure (“silhouette”), hair (blonde) preferring the more voluptuous (“fecund”) women. His judgment in picking his partner for the evening (“foresight”) has been refined (“distilled”) by years of bad experiences (“twilit blights”) with one night stands that turned into unsuccessful longer term relationships. (“held in homes / beyond yesterday’s nights.”). Alternatively, the last line could refer to the women’s transformation back into housewives after removing all the glamorizing makeup, wigs, and foundation garments that they used to create the illusion of beauty.

Am I close?

Glenn

[Matt Q]

Hi Alex,

Like Glenn, I'm reading this a chronicle -- and by extension memories of -- night clubs and youth: "yesterdays nights". Young men falling in love in an instant, then over the years this notion of romantic love and their expectations of it don't play out as anticipated.

In the poem, the N speaks on behalf of all men. So, I guess he's saying: in my generation (and likely, also social-economic class) it was like this.

At first I was thinking of the modern nightclub rather than other kinds of club, because "chorus" had me thinking of music, music with a verse-chorus structure (although, see below, it's not that clear to me what the chorus is of), and silhouette implies a certain kind of lighting like you might find in a nigthclub. That said, the language/diction seems to suggest something older than nightclubs in what I take the modern sense of the word. Maybe some sort of early 20th century club?

So, love starts to blazes through within a second of the N and his peers setting on eyes on a woman, and is in full force within the second it takes to scan the woman's silhouette. During which she becomes more alluring to him.

I'm not sure how to fit "the chorus honed on fecund frame, face, frame" into the sentence. Absent a precedent, the chorus of what? The chorus of love? A Greek chorus? The chorus of a song playing in the background. A song chorus is maybe unlikely, given the time frame -- as he'd only hear a second of it. Still, I guess it could still sharpen during that time. Anyway, I can't quite make sense of this.

Like Glenn, I was thrown by "fete", unsure whether it was functioning a noun (US sense of the noun) or verb or had some use I was unfamiliar with. I think maybe as verb, "just time to ... fete blonde", as in celebrate, honour etc.

Sensewise, I'm wondering what the "or not" is doing in "blonde or not". Does the celebration occur whether or not the object of his love/desire is blonde. Or does the celebration occur only if its object is blonde? He falls in love, and there's additional celebration if the the object of his love is blonde?

In the close, I take "foresight" to be the imagined/projected future happiness of that moment of love's fast first flaring. And this imagining, I think, does not fare well in the face of reality. If that's correct, "foresight" may not be the best choice, as "foresight" tends to imply the ability to make accurate/sensible predictions, and this doesn't seem to be one. Plus "foresight" also tends to imply some sort of consideration/reflection, and that one-second flare of love seems to brief for that. If I'm reading the poem right, it might be more accurate to say that the men described positively lacked foresight.

"Years of twilit blights" has me wondering if the bad things subsequently only happen in the evening. Or that they only happen in the couple's twilight years (or in anticipation of them). Neither of these seem to me likely to be what you intend. Maybe you mean years of evenings/nights follow that are blighted in comparison to the evening/night in the club when love first flared? The nights that follow do not compare to this as he'd imagined they would?

Next the foresight is held in homes beyond yesterday’s nights, and I struggled a little to decode this. The word "foresight" seems even less well fitted here. My best guess is: He holds onto his imagined future, his dream, in a place (the marital home) where it can't be recaptured -- or, his dream is imprisoned (held captive) in such a place.

A couple of general thoughts.

I think the the some of the word choices may be working against the poem, and are maybe trying too hard, making parts of the poem harder to understand than they need to be, but without offering much in return that I can see. Also, unless I'm misunderstanding the setting, which I may well be, I think the slightly archaic feel to the diction is a mismatch for the poem's setting.

I note that women have no agency in this poem. The man falls in love, they marry him. I guess I could take it as implied that many times the love wasn't reciprocated. Still, it's noticeable that they only exist as objects of his desire, and then only parts of them: shape, face, figure and hair colour. Even choices like "the allure" versus "her allure" seem to de-personify. And I suspect that's very much the intention here: These men fell in love, and it didn't really matter to them who the woman was, beyond silhouette and figure, and (possibly?) hair colour, and this approach worked very badly: it inevitably contributed to the how the future failed to live up to these men's expectations.

Thinking on this this though, I notice that it's only really the words "blonde" and "fecund" that makes me read this as about men and their approach to women/love/marriage. (Well, I guess, I am making an assumption in taking the N to be male). I wonder how the poem would work if the gender wasn't specified/implied? People (men and women) fell in love unrealistically and unsurprising it didn't pan out. Of course, you may well want to speak of men only. I'm not suggesting you shouldn't, just throwing out a suggestion.

best,

Matt

[Alex Pepple]

Thank you, Glenn and Matt, for your careful readings and detailed comments on the poem. It helps me see how readers are interpreting it and what could be improved. Especially being so minimal and compact, word choice is key for clarity and to prevent ambiguity. I’ve now made several tweaks that should, hopefully, help illuminate the poem’s trajectories and intentions.

Glenn, thank you for your deep dive into the nuts and bolts of this compact poem. Your reading, and Matt’s too, help me see what’s coming through for readers, and have given me ideas for clarifying my intent. I’d say, most of your take on the first part is right, and your reading of the final lines was very close—though the transformation at the end relates more to the speaker(s) than the women, and the poem intentionally leaves open what happens beyond those club encounters. That ambiguity is by design, aiming to evoke a broader generational or cultural experience rather than a specific narrative arc.

On “fete,” yes it’s the same thing as “fête”: it’s now Anglicized and doesn’t need the circumflex, per Merriam-Webster, but to avoid possible misreadings I’ve reinstated it. I’ve also replaced “chorus” with “homage” to clarify the sense of tribute being paid, and this also fits the collective, almost ritualistic aspect of the club scene I was hoping to conjure.

Matt, your extensive analysis was invaluable—thank you for untangling the ambiguities and offering pointed suggestions. You’re right that “foresight” may not be the best word, so I’ve changed it to “insight” to better capture the sense of transformation that comes too late for meaningful connection. “Blonde or not” is simply a rhetorical statement: the attraction applies regardless of hair color.

Regarding “twilit blights,” this refers to the disappointments and challenges that come with aging and the passage of time, rather than to events literally happening in the evening. I’ve revised “yesterday’s nights” to “our bygone nights” for a stronger collective voice and to avoid the logical tangle you spotted. The universal perspective is intentional, as the poem aims to capture a shared, generational (perhaps even cultural) experience. As for the gender of the speaker, your point is well taken—the poem leans on some gendered imagery but aspires to a broader, universal reflection on yearning and retrospection. Perhaps this could be further nuanced in the future.

Thank you again to both of you for your thoughtful engagement and for helping me see the poem more clearly what’s working with readers and what’s not. I hope these revisions—restoring the circumflex accent on “fête,” clarifying with “homage,” shifting “foresight” to “insight,” and tightening the final lines—help bring out the poem’s intended effect.

Cheers,
…Alex

[Alessio Boni]

Hi Alex,

I also wanted to try 'dive into the nuts and bolts' with my far more limited wit compared to yourself and the two previous replies, but seeing your clear explanation of the poem in the last comment, I'll just comment my opinion on my favourite part of this poem.

"Then love would blaze through us within a second
Just time enough to scan a silhouette"

Are my favourite verses as I think they perfectly embody the image of fleeting views and pure chaos (which I think is rendered really well with the word 'blaze' instead of 'pass' or 'fly') when dancing in a club. There is a club in Florence called OTEL and the few times I've been there, and looked at anyone therein, authentically matches the way in which your verse describes seeing the narrator's interest. Almost as if that possible one night stand of his was literally just a vague twisting black shadow on beat to the music and any feeling towards them would be as frenzied as the sight.

I know this comment doesn't give much but I really like the poem, and I just wanted to share my thought on your two verses.

Bravo!

Alessio.

P.S

Just saw your reply on Reflected Chances, so thank you for the further clarifications!

[Julie Steiner]

Hi, Alex!

As an asexual who is astonished to find herself happily married to a vigorously heterosexual man for the past thirty-one years, I am not the ideal audience for this poem. But I thought I'd let you know that I'm puzzled by several things here, in case it's helpful.

I'll give the narrator a pass on using "love" interchangeably with "lust," since that's pretty traditional.

"just time enough to scan silhouette" — This sounds like a Tontoism for the sake of meter, but I can't see why, since the meter would actually be smoother with an unstressed syllable between "scan" and "silhouette." What's going on there?

The word "fête" seems off to me. I wouldn't characterize typical club activities such as buying an attractive stranger a drink as fêting that person. Throwing someone a party with lots of other people, all there to honor someone's birthday or retirement, sure. But a fête is a collective celebration of one person, not just one person expressing appreciation for another.

I also don't think "fecund" is the right word, despite the alliteration. "Nubile," maybe, which refers to sexual attractiveness but not necessarily to fertility. I have trouble picturing the relevance of fecundity in a nightclub setting. Few men in a nightclub are there in search of the ideal vessel and nourisher for their future offspring, and their delight in a woman's hips and breasts probably has nothing to do with the implications for efficient childbirth and milk production.

Also, fecundity quite literally makes women far LESS sexy, due to stretch marks, weight gain, a drastic diminishment of breast size, exhaustion and lack of libido, etc., etc.

I'm not sure what the distilled "insight" is. I'm guessing it's not that people who search only for shallow, transient beauty find exactly what they were looking for, and then are disappointed that the resulting relationship (and the beauty itself) is shallow and transient, since that seems pretty self-evident to me.

Who or what is "left in homes"? Insight? The formerly young women? The formerly young men? (Your comments about "twilit blights" referring to age make me briefly wonder if "left in homes" is actually referring to retirement homes, but I decided that that couldn't be what you meant.)

Finally, I don't understand why you are breaking the final line, which is the equivalent of underlining and bolding the dropped text, after a hugely dramatic, suspenseful pause. To me, the final phrase does not seem significant enough to bear that sort of extreme emphasis without seeming anticlimactic. But it's quite possibly that I'm missing a point that isn't lost on other readers.

[Alex Pepple]

Thanks for these responses and perspectives, Alessio and Julie!

Alessio, your response shows you’re well engaged with what the poem is trying to do in terms of mood, actions, and outcome! It's really gratifying to hear that those opening lines captured the authentic feeling of club experiences for you. Your description of OTEL in Florence - that sense of "vague twisting black shadow on beat to the music" with feelings as "frenzied as the sight" - captures well what I was trying to convey with "blaze" and the immediacy of that scanning moment. Your appreciation for the word choice of "blaze" over alternatives like "pass" or "fly" shows you understand the club-scene intensity and chaos I wanted to evoke. That's exactly the kind of visceral, almost overwhelming sensation the poem aims to capture in those opening lines. And it means a lot how you, as a reader, connect with the sensory and emotional truth of what the poem is trying to express. Your comment gives me confidence that the poem is achieving its intended effect of capturing those fleeting, intense moments of attraction and connection in club settings. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughtful response!

Julie, thank you for your detailed critique. While we clearly have different perspectives on the poem, I appreciate you taking the time to engage with it so thoroughly. Regarding your specific points:

"Just time enough" is standard English emphasizing minimal duration - the same construction as "just enough money" or "just enough space." "Fête" here simply means "to honor" or "celebrate" (per Merriam-Webster, one definition, applicable here is “to pay high honor to”), which is perfectly appropriate for appreciating someone's beauty—and I see using fete as an intensifier of the act of celebrating the person, especially as it relates to the speaker’s group. Still, if this word feels “off” to several readers, I may need to find a different word here!

And "Fecund" is used in its aesthetic sense of fertility and vitality—especially in a metaphorically nuanced sense—the visual appeal of youth and life force, not literal reproductive capacity, and certainly not as a reference to motherhood. Nubile" or another adjective might communicate the sense of youthful allure more cleanly, and I may revisit that… and the rhymes.

The "insight" refers to wisdom gained through experience and aging, distilled over years. "Left in homes" refers to the speakers in their later years, placed in elder care facilities—the contrast between the vibrant nights of youth and the containment of old age

The line break creates a visual metaphor for the separation between youth and age, with the final phrase representing the distance we've traveled from those earlier experiences: the break is meant to suggest a kind of temporal gap mimicking the gulf between youth and old age. But I can also see how it could come off as overemphasis, especially if the payoff isn’t dramatic enough for everyone. I’ll keep an eye on whether it serves or detracts from the poem’s closure as further feedback comes in.

On agency and gender, I do see how the poem’s perspective could be critiqued for its focus on the male gaze and the fleeting, almost de-personalized connections depicted. The poem intentionally leans into the limitations and consequences of that viewpoint, but I agree that further nuance could make this clearer—or perhaps universalize the theme even more, as Matt suggested earlier.

I understand the poem may not resonate with everyone, and I respect that different readers will have different responses to its themes and approach. Poetry often works differently for different readers and audiences, and that's part of the art form's nature.

Thus, in the final analysis, I’m hoping that even with the poem’s concise characterizations, there are enough anchors of the sense and meaning to connect the dots and sort out the layers of significance. Or if not, to at least determine the most straightforward meaning of the poem (assuming I didn’t have to explain as much as I’ve done with this poem—contrary to my usual tendency!)

Thank you again for your engagement with the poem. It really helps to see how readers are reading and understanding it. And even though it might seem like a mixed bag thus far, I’m I’m grateful to see the poem spark this range of engagement and that several are following most of what the poem is attempting to do.

Cheers,
…Alex