[John Whitworth]

I suppose we should all have seen this coming.


No. 2848: scottish question

We done something similar before but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to give William Topaz McGonagall a chance to comment on Scottish independence. You are invited to submit such a commentary in your best McGonagallese. Please email entries of up to 16 lines (wherever possible) to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 14 May.

[basil ransome-davies]

McGonagall, FFS? I despair.

[Rob Stuart]

This already been done recently in Private Eye.

http://www.private-eye.co.uk/eyeplayer.php?media=151

(if anyone's interested)

[Jerome Betts]

Thhere was a later Salmond-McGonagall offering in Private Eye in 2012 after the 2012 Olympics. A much-ploughed furrow.

[Rob Stuart]

’Twas on the 18th day of September in the year 2014
That the good people of Scotland were invited to choose between
Remaining part of the United Kingdom or
Not being a part of it any more.

When it transpired that with the rest of Great Britain the Scotch wanted to remain
This gave the SNP leader Alex Salmond a terrible pain
In that organ of thought that doctors call the brain,
For he knew the opportunity would not come again.

‘Westminster is to blame for this,’ Mr Salmond angrily declared,
‘For they deliberately set out to make my countrymen feel scared.
I have been much angered by all their negative campaigning,
And that is the reason I am now complaining.

‘They said we might not be able to keep the pound or the BBC,
And that even continuing membership of the EU was not a guarantee.
If only the ‘No’ camp had had the decency to talk about such issues less
And a bit more about the sort of things that might have made folk vote ‘Yes’.’

[John Whitworth]

I hope you have that date right, Rob.


In the year 2014 on the 18th of September
All Scottish patriots should well remember
To make sure a plurality of their votes are Wee Eck's,
Without regard to age, colour, creed or sex.

We have a proud history. Let this be our solace
As we celebrate the doughty deeds of William Wallace,
And those of Bruce at Bannockburn still doughtier
Against a foe more prideful and far shoutier.

We mourn the flours o' the forest all withered at Flodden,
And Bonny Prince Charlie who fled from Culloden
With Flora MacDonald, as every schoolboy should know;
Will he no come back again? Alas he could no.

Nemo me impune lacessit. May these be our watchwords,
Meaning 'Hauns aff oor oil!' in good old Scotch words.
Let us grasp the sword of Scottish freedom tightly
That Scotland's star may shine in Europe ever more brightly.