[Roger Slater]

I'd be surprised if anyone remembers, but I posted an ealier version of this over ten years ago. I've revised substantially since then.

REGRET
by Jorge Luis Borges

I have committed the worst possible sin
a man can commit. I have not been happy.
May the pitiless glaciers of oblivion
drag me down inside them and entrap me.
My parents bred me for the risky game
of life, for its beauty and its loveliness,
its earth, its air, its water, and its flame.
I let them down. I found no happiness.
Their wish went unfulfilled. Instead I gave
my mind to the stubborn symmetries of art
that weaves together trifles. From the start,
they willed me courage—but I was not brave.
...It's always there. It will not stray from me.
...The shame of having lived unhappily.




The Spanish:

El remordimiento

He cometido el peor de los pecados
que un hombre puede cometer. No he sido
feliz. Que los glaciares del olvido
me arrastren y me pierdan, despiadados.
Mis padres me engendraron para el juego
arriesgado y hermoso de la vida,
para la tierra, el agua, el aire, el fuego.
Los defraudé. No fui feliz. Cumplida
no fue su joven voluntad. Mi mente
se aplicó a las simétricas porfías |
del arte, que entreteje naderías.
Me legaron valor. No fui valiente.
No me abandona. Siempre está a mi lado
La sombra de haber sido un desdichado.

CRIB:

I have committed the worst of all sins
that a man can commit. I have not been
happy. May the glaciers of oblivion
drag me down and destroy/lose me, without pity.
My parents raised me for the risky
and beautiful game of life,
for the earth, the water, the air, the fire.
I let them down. I wasn't happy. Unfulfilled
was their youthful will. My mind
applied itself to the symmetrical disputes/stubbornness
of art, that weaves together trifles.
They bequeathed me valor. I wasn't brave.
It does not abandon me. It's always at my side.
The shade/taint/shame of having been unhappy.

[Glenn Wright]

Very solid, faithful translation, Roger. You even echo the variation of ABAB and ABBA quatrains in the rhyme scheme of the original poem. I had a hard time scanning your third line, but the enjambment with line 4, which starts with a headless iamb, makes it work beautifully. I’ll have to remember that trick.

It is ironic that the parents who love their children the most and most want them to find happiness set those children up to be unhappy precisely because the children feel that they have disappointed their parents when they fail to find happiness.

[Max Goodman]

Nicely done, Bob.

Beauty and loveliness feel here repetitive. (Loveliness/happiness is also a disappointing rhyme, though for some readers that may not matter much in a translation from a language with a lot of common word endings. Dunno.)

It's a shame to lose Borges's enjambment leading to the crucial "feliz" in L3, but the happy/entrap-me rhyme is a fine consolation prize.

FWIW.

[Carl Copeland]

What a treat, Bob! Makes me think I should be reading Borges.

I had trouble scanning L2. I guess you want me to drop a syllable at the caesura and promote “I”—both reasonable requests, except that it’s so easy to read “I have not” as an anapest.

“Art that weaves” should really be “art, which weaves.” The restrictive “that” suggests that he gave his life to specific kinds of art that weave together trifles, but perhaps not to other kinds that don’t.

I wondered why you preferred “it will not stray from me” to the more literal “it won’t abandon me.” Did you decide the latter sounded as if the shame was doing him a favor by staying with him? You could be right.

These are minor points, and I love both the translation and the poem. Thanks for this gift!