[John Whitworth]

The Here is the News competition was again rather slanted at us Brits. Bazza won a deserved £25 (I spotted it as a winner very early) and Bill Greenwell and I were just out of the money. It is interesting that a poem won and another poem nearly won, though this looked like a prose competition.

This week's looks prosy too. But I'm sure we can score here.

No. 2652: Cliché corner
You are invited to submit an extract from the autobiography of a sportsman packing in as many clichés as possible (150 words maximum). Please email entries, where possible, to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 16 June.

[Roger Slater]

When I was a boy, my father always told me, "Give everything 110 percent." I knew that this would require me to stay focused, never lose sight of my goal, and take things one game at a time. As I grew older, I understood that winning would not be a walk in the park, but that, thanks to my God-given abilities, every game was mine to lose. But talent wasn't enough. The winner is the one who wants it the most. I resolved never to be out-hustled or to get caught napping. At the end of the day, the best defense is a good offense, and there's no point bringing anything back to the locker room. You've got to leave it out there on the field. These principles have served me well. It required great sacrifice, but the rewards have also been great. This sport has been very, very good to me. God bless.

[John Whitworth]

Good God, Roger. It has to be real! Mine is a verse. The stuff about John Snow is true. He won an Ashes series for us, though I would say (snobbishly) that his poems are NBG. But hell, when did I win an Ashes series?

Cliché Contest

One of the unpublished verses of John Snow, poet and England fast bowler.

It’s a dream that’s come true and it’s happened to you.
You are literally over the moon.
But it’s so in your face. Put yourself in my place.
You’d be crazy to prick the balloon.

So you do as you ought. It’s a question of sport
And you have to be there for your mates.
For there’s only one way, at the end of the day,
If you want to be one of the greats.

At the moment of drama, it’s crisis, it’s karma.
You know when you’ve got to walk tall.
Stand up and be counted is what it’s amounted
To. Play up and stay on the ball.

Sure I’m doing the biz when I say how it is.
I’m a winner at this point in time.
As a fast-bowling poet, well wouldn’t you know it,
I naturally tell it in rhyme

[Jayne Osborn]

John,

Congrats on last week's mensh and commiserations on just missing out on the dosh.

Stand up and be counted is what it’s amounted
To. Stand up and stay on the ball.

Do you need the two 'stand up's? Just as a suggestion:
Stand up and be counted is what it’s amounted
To. Just keep your eye on the ball. (Or something.)

I think you really should be 'a winner at this point in time'. It's a good 'un.

[John Whitworth]

Thank you, Jayne. Your criticism of the two 'stand up's was echoed by Chris O'Carroll. I hve changed it. Thanks again.