[Deborah Warren]

Three Bears

We are such decorous, well-mannered bears,
Not savage hunters red in tooth and claw.
We sleep in beds and sit upright in chairs;
The food that we prefer is cooked, not raw.

Our domicile, far from a feral den,
Is a quaint cottage, tidy, well nigh twee.
Tamely adapted to the ways of men,
We are the harmless ursine bourgeoisie.

We do not let our well-reared cub run wild.
He’d scorn to be a burglar or a vandal.
We’re shocked to find our home’s been thus defiled --
The pilferage, the breakage, it’s a scandal!

We’re cuddlier than Paddington and Pooh.
Our dispositions couldn’t be much sweeter.
But this blonde girl’s behavior just won’t do:
As soon as she wakes up, let’s kill and eat her.

[Deborah Warren]

Of the 25-odd poems Michael sent me, ten poems floated to the top. The ones with a serious kernel inside the light verse delighted me most. Thanks to all of you versifiers who have given me so much pleasure!

When I was a child, my Three Bears storybook had large, glossy, and exquisite illustrations of the bears’ house and domestic life: the fabric of each cushion, the weave of a Persian rug, the bears’ names on porridge bowl and bed. So this particular poem really works for me.

First I’ll get the technical out of the way: let me single out the unforced rhymes as really admirable: Not a dud in the lot.

We don’t hate these bears. What they’re going to do to Goldilocks is what bears do. If they’re hypocrites, they’re unwitting hypocrites. They compartmentalize aspects of their lives—the civilized and the savage are two sides of the same coin. And they’ll savage Goldilocks precisely because she’s not civilized. An English teacher could use this poem as a textbook example of irony. It’s a fable that’s great fun to read and says a little something, not necessarily about bears, to boot.

[Orwn Acra]

Wonderful! Choice lines include "We are the harmless ursine bourgeoisie" and "We’re cuddlier than Paddington and Pooh". Impeccable word choice. Unusual spin. Small enough to be used in a Spectator comp.

It's too early to guess who's who, but I have an inkling.

[Jayne Osborn]

Walter said:

Small enough to be used in a Spectator comp.

I wouldn't mind betting it was submitted to the recent Speccie comp!
It's brilliant. The first poem I ever wrote was a parody of The Thre Bears - not as good as this one though. Can't wait to see whose it is (but also have an inkling).

[Catherine Chandler]

Absolutely delightful!

[Janice D. Soderling]

Oh, Cathy, I was going to say "absolutely delightful", but you beat me to it. Goldang.

Absolutely delightful and very well-crafted.