[John Whitworth]

Three of our best won in this week's Parting Shot Competition, so congratulations to Bazza, Frank and Chris! And, I must say, to Gillian Ewing, for winning with only two words!

This week's is an oldie, though with different words, if you see what I mean. Do your best and prizes will be yours I am sure.

No. 2698: FIRST & LAST
You are invited to submit a short story that begins ‘Of course he knew — no man better — that he hadn’t a ghost of a chance, he hadn’t an earthly’ and ends ‘And Reginald came slowly across the lawn’ (150 words max). Please email entries, if possible, to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 25 May.

[Roger Slater]

Well done, you three! I enjoyed your winning entries.

[basil ransome-davies]

First & last words from Katharine Mansfield's 'Mr & Mrs Dove'. Not that it matters.

[John Whitworth]

But it's nice to know, Bazza. Thank you.

[Orwn Acra]

Of course he knew — no man better — that he hadn’t a ghost of a chance, he hadn’t an earthly. He would never get into heaven now, not after having applesauced Lady Montblanc in last night's game of Key and Socket. It was an evening to be etched in one's memory: the Brigadier lunchboxed the Colonel; everyone poodled Madame Delancey's topiary garden; and Reginald lobster Newburged onto the chest of Dame Ida. Then a zenith to out-zenith all zeniths: Clara Fortescue, kneeling behind the vegetable garden, did a Waldorf salad with a stray German Shepherd and a boot jack. The Colonel climaxed. The Brigadier boomed. And Reginald came slowly across the lawn.

[John Whitworth]

I think that's too rude for the likes of Lucy, Orwn. I'm surprised at you. Tcha!