[John Whitworth]

Bazza worthily wins the race with a little work of genius. Congratulations also to Spherians Frank Osen and Robert Schechter who would both have beaten anyone, had Bazza not been in competition.

The new competition has been done before, I feel sure. But I don't think I've done it.

No. 2705 modern manners
You are invited to supply an updated version of John Betjeman’s ‘How to Get on in Society’ (16 lines max). Email entries, if possible, to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 13 July.

[basil ransome-davies]

Ta, John, & congrats to other eratonauts. I did have a lot of fun doing that one, wasn't like work at all.

[Maryann Corbett]

Congrats to Bazza, Frank, and Bob.

I keep waiting for one of these to look possible for me, but this week's is definitely not, not for this American. I didn't know the Betjeman poem, and when I read it, I was utterly baffled. I've finally learned from this article in The Telegraph that the whole point is the U and Non-U thing that afflicts British English. But American English has no such clear, single set of word-choice class markers. Plain usage errors don't quite do.

Can I sue Lucy for discrimination, do you suppose?

[Julie Steiner]

Forget U and Non-U, Maryann. Go w/ txt & non-txt. Or otherwise hip & non-hip. Nothing more painful than oldsters trying to talk the talk, is there?

Maybe you'll find this inspirational. Or maybe not.
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/g...n-commandments

[Maryann Corbett]

Thanks, Julie. I have to work so hard to read those that the laugh fizzles. But I see what you're recommending.

[Roger Slater]

I remain baffled. I don't even know what U and non-U means, let alone txt and non-text. I don't understand the Betjeman poem at all, I'm afraid.