[Jayne Osborn]

Lovely! Tessa has chosen a great topic this month, after the prose comp last time around, in which Brian got a well-deserved HM and the rest of us got zilch. (Well, we're poets, so poetry comps suit us better, natch.)

Now, who will choose lying (as in lazing) in bed, and who will go for lying (as in telling lies) in bed, I wonder? A lot of both goes on!
This one's going to be fun.

Jayne

COMPETITION No. 158
by Tessa Castro

The way we sleep tells a lot about us, scientists say. So a poem, please, called ‘Lying in Bed’. Maximum 16 lines.

Entries to ‘Competition 158’ by post (The Oldie, 65 Newman Street, London W1T 3EG), email (comps@theoldie.co.uk) or fax (020 7436 8804) by 14 December.
Don’t forget to include your postal address.

[John Whitworth]

Lying in Bed

You’ve climbed the stairs to Bedfordshire
And left the world behind,
The wooden hill to Bedfordshire
Where all are deaf and blind.
They speak the truth in Bedfordshire,
Of bliss and ruth in Bedfordshire,
Where mind speaks out to mind,
And no-one is unkind.

Across the skies to Bedfordshire
You’ve sailed without a chart,
To dream in deepest Bedfordshire
Where all the passions start.
Lie down in bright, white Bedfordshire,
Put on the night in Bedfordshire,
And find a place apart,
To listen to your heart.

[Roger Slater]

Lying In Bed

At night I like to lie in bed,
pillow underneath my head,
blanket pulled up to my chin,
dreaming of a mortal sin.
And may that dream be now confessed:
I'm often, in that dream, undressed,
unbridled, unafraid, unshy.
At night in bed I like to lie.

[John Whitworth]

Sharp and to the point, Roger. One of your best.

[Lance Levens]

I will not die in Old Tenille where the cotton lies in rows,
But I lie in bed in Old Tenille--and I know she knows.

She knows another's in my bed as I lie in Old Tenille.
She'll curse my name and heaven dread as we allemand the reel.

As I lie in bed in old Tenille, I cannot face tomorrow.
The fiddlers' wink and the banjo's plinking be to me such sorrow.

I will not die in Old Tenille, nor be a woman's fool.
So I sharpen up my blade tonight to teach someone my rule.

[Brian Allgar]

Lying in Bed

It’s true that I’d be lying if I said
I find it easy getting out of bed.
There goes the damned alarm! Once more I struggle
To turn it off. Oh, how I yearn to snuggle
Beneath the downy pillows and the covers,
And dream of past insatiable lovers.

There’s what’s-her-name, the barmaid from “The Rose”,
And thingummy, who loved to suck my toes,
And all those girls who came to see my etchings ...
Forgive me for these geriatric lechings,
But when you’re my age, chewing on a denture,
It’s memories that keep you from dementia.

Where did it go, that once-abundant crumpet?
I’m now reduced to blowing my own trumpet.
But duty calls; I have to walk the dog,
And write my “Son of Casanova ” blog.

[Terese Coe]

I put together two quatrains, but they don't actually belong together. So here's one.

Are you lying in your bed?
Expect a little prying
from newsmen who would else be dead,
and not for want of lying.

[Jayne Osborn]

"My darling, I have a confession -- "
he sighed, as they lay there in bed.
She thwarted him, "Shh... yes, I know, love;
you talked in your sleep." Then she said,
"You bedded my friend, and my sister,
and one of your secretaries too."
He cried, "Will you ever forgive me?"
She kissed him and said, "Course I do!"

The truth was, she'd only suspected,
but risked it by calling his bluff,
expecting an outraged denial,
but now she had proof. Fair enough -
his honesty would be rewarded,
she thought to herself: he can keep
his Beemer, a duvet... and that's it!
She grinned as she dropped off to sleep.

[Brian Allgar]

Ooooh, that's wicked, Jayne. I must remember to gag myself before going to sleep.

[Jayne Osborn]

Ooh, Brian, do we have a bit of a guilty conscience, then, eh?

(When they say "by December 14th", do you reckon that on the 14th, just after 9am, is OK? I hope so, otherwise I'm not even in the running!)

Has anyone ever won with a last-minute, on-the-deadline entry? The Speccie always says "by midday" on the given date, but I'm not sure about The Oldie and other comps.

Jayne