[Chris O'Carroll]

No 4283
By Leonora Casement
We want examples of a remark overheard at a party that makes you wish you hadn’t come.
Max ten attempts by 11 July comp@newstatesman.co.uk

[Ann Drysdale]

I think "Ann Drysdale was a UKIP candidate" is near the top of my list. (Eh, John?)

[John Whitworth]

Better than ' Ann Drysdale was a down-market prostitute'. Or would they be two ways of saying the same thing?

You weren't, were you. A UKIP candidate, I mean. I would have voted for you.

[Ann Drysdale]

No, I jolly well wasn't. Well, not a UKIP candidate anyway. That's why it was such a disturbing thing to have overheard...

[Nigel Mace]

This is too easy - any variation on,

"Let me introduce you to Tony/Margaret/ano" - fill in as best fits. Before John says it, I'd include "You must meet Nigel" - Farage, of course.

[John Whitworth]

I've heard there will be Scottish dancing later on. Everybody joins in.

We all have to put our car keys in a pot for some reason.

Guess what? We're going to play charades.

There's a full selection of wines, sprout, beetroot, rhubarb and parsnip.