[Susan McLean]

Pain Management

The management has gauged how much you’ll take
before you buckle or walk out. They care
about your health—at least until you break,
use up your sick leave, or require repair.

The management endorses your retiring
early. They will help you out the door,
so that they can economize by hiring
fresh blood for half of what they paid before.

The management can't monetize your gain
in knowledge or experience. They doubt
that anything you'd do if you remain
could beat their savings if you're shunted out.

They needn't lay you off, just raise your stress
through higher workloads and adverse conditions,
until exhaustion, strain, and hopelessness
force you to leave, fulfilling their ambitions.


Revisions:
S4L1 was "They needn't fire you, just increase your stress"

[Glenn Wright]

Very effective, Susan! I like the N’s position as an impartial observer. Each of your four quatrains focuses on a specific way that corporate America insults its work force.

I was lucky enough to be able to retire when I wanted to with a defined-benefit pension. I have a lot of sympathy for younger workers, who seem to be treated more often as labor providing androids than human beings. Good job!

Glenn

[Susan McLean]

Glenn, I wasn't sure how this one would come across. It was intended as a satiric critique of how the emphasis on maximizing profit has warped the way businesses treat their workers. I've worked in private businesses, government agencies, and academia; all of them abused and exploited workers at some level, though I was most shocked by what happened when the business model was applied to education. I'm still not sure that it works as a poem, but I was glad to hear that it seemed to work for you.

Susan

[Roger Slater]

It's an unnatural effort for me to say "fire" as exactly one syllable, so the meter of that line has a bump for me. Would you consider "sack" or "can" or something like that?

The poem is well made, but doesn't really do much poem-y stuff other than use rhyme and meter. You call it a "satiric" critique, but it doesn't seem satiric to me, just a straightforward indictment of the corporate mindset as it applies to its workers.

Try sending it to the Harvard Business Review, or something like that.

[Susan McLean]

Roger, I am aware of the variation in how "fire" is pronounced. I have rewritten that line to avoid metrical confusion. The "satiric" effect of the poem has nothing to do with being funny. I hear the speaker's voice as scathingly sardonic. I think the Harvard Business Review would be one of the last journals to want to publish this. I hold the MBAs responsible for a lot of what I am describing. Their creed has trickled into all aspects of life, with devastating consequences.

Susan

[Roger Slater]

I've never read the magazine, but I wouldn't assume they're not daring enough to publish a poem that doesn't kiss corporate ass. If not them, then perhaps there are more HR-oriented magazines.

The change to the "fire" line works well.

[Paula Fernandez]

Hi Susan--

I've read this poem many times now. My first instinct was to just walk on past, but you've always been generous in providing me feedback for my poems (both positive and negative), so I wanted to respond generously to yours as well.

I have enjoyed many of your poems for their wit and playfulness (that poem about couplets!), their clever craftsmanship (the "O" poem), and their distinctive metaphors (the flowers/Marilyn Monroe). For me, this poem is not on par with these and others you've shared here. "Management" is a monolith in your poem--a faceless force of capitalism at its worst. But isn't "management" just a bunch of individual people? I'm not sure why it's okay to launch an attack on a class of people like this, many (perhaps most) of whom are just trying to do the hard job of balancing the needs of the corporation against the needs of the individuals on their teams. Surely we've all, at some time, had a great work experience on an effective team led by a compassionate and inspiring leader? I certainly have.

It also just lacks any sense of humor or wit. The jabs are all just sad. (And also not true--of course we can monetize experience!) As always with your work, the poem is crafted well, but it's just not hitting anything I recognize. As a proud owner of an MBA degree--who has worked extensively in private and public companies led by other MBAs--I firmly deny the premise of this poem. We are not soulless profit calculators. Some of us (gasp) even write poetry in our free time.

Since HBR was raised elsewhere in the comments, I'll just point to this article in this month's issue: https://hbr.org/2024/10/how-to-compa...rminal-illness. We MBAs talk all the time about the balancing act. Team building, aligning incentives, building shared vision, getting the best fit job for every employee... all core parts of an MBA education.

[Susan McLean]

Mary, "repair" was chosen to suggest that the worker is being treated as a machine.

Paula, I don't want to demonize MBAs (and they aren't actually mentioned in the poem, just in my discussion of it). I have a close relation who recently got his MBA, and who is fearful of losing his job because his boss thinks he isn't maximizing profit enough. I was just trying to argue that when the main goal of an organization is saving money/increasing profit, workers often suffer. If older, more experienced workers are pressured to retire so that they can be replaced by younger, less expensive workers, they will feel that their knowledge and experience is not valued.

I was interested to read that research is being done on how to deal humanely with workers who are terminally ill. It is always a challenge to deal with such situations, and some employers will do so more thoughtfully than others. Unfortunately, most people will know someone who was treated badly by people in charge. I thought it was actually better to satirize bad management in general than to go after individuals. That way, no one can feel personally attacked.

That said, I am not arguing that this poem is highly effective. I can't tell in advance whether a poem will be good or bad. I just have to write it to see, and my workshopping it is my effort to ascertain what works and what doesn't. I write a lot of different kinds of poems, but satire is one favorite genre of mine. Effective satire usually has an edge. I once wrote an article about Martial's Latin epigrams, which I tltled "Playing with Knives." Anyway, I know that some satire will offend some people. It goes with the territory. I try to listen to both the positive and the negative responses, because I can learn from both.

Susan

[Barbara Baig]

Hi Susan,
Since you are collecting various responses to this poem (and hoping you don't mind my not talking about meter, which I find rather dull), I'll say that I think this poem is terrific, and quite, alas, realistic. This kind of thing is going on all the time these days in Corporate America--just follow the news.

Naturally, there are exceptions: good companies; good people. But what you describe is, as far as I can tell, absolutely the cultural norm. Some day we'll escape from the Greed is Good mentality; but not right now.

As for this not being a poem: nonsense!

It's not a lyric poem--but that's only one among many kinds of poems we can read and write.

I applaud you for writing this poem and hope you can find it a good home. I don't have any specific suggestions, but I'm sure some magazine, online or otherwise, will happily accept it.

I also, for what it's worth, think this poem is done as is. Send it off!

Barbara