[Richard G]

.
They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.
....................................The Owl and the Pussy-Cat, Edward Lear



The Krakkling


(1)...On a glimmering strand
a Pussy and Owl
lost in each other
not feline nor fowl
but a couple,
consensual,
spousal,
connubial,
blind!

to the lapping lagoon.
Where they danced
by the light of the moon.


(2)...The lapping lagoon it lip-lapped and lipped
in the silvery moon’s silver light
as crossing its lip-lapping waters there dripped
a fearsome ebonious wight.

(3)...A creature of cuttle, of coral and mud,
a torment of shanty, of shell:
luciferous scales and Hadean blood,
as reasty as any from Hell.

(4)...Bedecked in the wrecks of a dozen ships
and a long laminaria cloak
they chushed through the tide with eight mighty strides
and then, from the shallows, spoke:

(5)..."I'm sorry to intrude. Indeed, how rude,
disrupting your nuptial night.
I've been somewhat rash, I left in a rush
and must look a frightful sight;

(6)...sufficient to say I am déshabillé
and breathless, bathed in the moonlight.
But never mind that, my sweet bird and cat,
it's not why I'm here tonight.

(7)...To mark the occasion of your conjugation
an Insight I would with you share.
For knowledge, as all know, is ever the boon
and this is The Wisdom of Bears!

(8)...I happened upon it a lifetime ago
in a weald, magic and rare.
Youthful I was, and reckless, of course,
I've no idea how I got there.

(9)...But there, in a clearing, I met such a being
of kindness and sense sublime.
A stranger to guile, an innocent smile,
who offered me this antique rhyme:

(10)..It's a Truth universally acknowledged,
he said.
And the Creed of the Old Ursine College,
he said.
That whether it's cloudy, clear, or runny
all Quinces taste better with Honey,
he said.

(11)..For anything
that may be eaten or ate
a gift or a theft,
or won in a bet,
or bartered,
or begged for,
or bought with cash money:
The One Rule,
The Gold Rule,
The Hot
& The Cold Rule
Is Everything, Everything, Everything, Everything
Tastes So Much Better With Honey,
he said.

(12)..Even old Turkeys and Piggies,
he said."


(13)..They dined by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
They dined by the light of the moon.



.

[Alex Pepple]

Hello, Richard,

I’m surprised this hasn’t gotten more attention—it deserves some! (The "4/4" tag suggests this is part of a series—so I must have missed parts 1 through 3.) What you’ve done here is a clever reimagining of The Owl and the Pussy-Cat, capturing Lear’s whimsical tone while adding your own darker, mythic touch. The Krakkling is an imaginative creation, and I love how its grand, ominous entrance gives way to unexpected politeness and wisdom. That contrast works well.

Your language and sonic textures are particularly effective. Lines like "A creature of cuttle, of coral and mud, / a torment of shanty, of shell" and "luciferous scales and Hadean blood" are vivid. The alliteration in "the lapping lagoon it lip-lapped and lipped" is delightfully Lear-esque, and the chant-like repetition in the Wisdom of Bears section makes that passage resonant.

A couple of areas for potential refinement:

• The transition between stanzas 9 and 10 feels abrupt. The Krakkling’s arc could connect more smoothly to the wisdom it imparts—perhaps a hint earlier that it’s on some sort of journey?
• The ending feels a touch too sudden. Since the Krakkling delivers wisdom, we might expect some reaction or resolution before closing out. Would a brief nod to the Owl & Pussycat’s response reinforce the poem’s circular, fable-like nature?

I hope something here proves useful, Richard. Good luck with it!

Cheers,
...Alex

[Jayne Osborn]

Hi Richard,
I don't remember seeing this before now, for some reason. And - darn it! - it's now past midnight and I have an early start tomorrow.

While I'm here, though, I'll just make a couple of quick comments. Firstly, I really enjoyed reading it!

In (4) I got a bit confused by "they", as I'm used to the old way of using pronouns (Ahem). Could it be "he" or "it" instead?

In (7) the inversion put me off a bit. Just a suggestion:
I have something I'd like to share... rather than an Insight I would with you share.

That's all I can manage for now. I hope to come back to it...

Jayne

[Glenn Wright]

Hi, Richard—

Very enjoyable romp! I’m guessing that the Krakkling’s mentor was Winnie-the-Pooh.

Glenn

[Richard G]

Hi Alex, Jayne, Glenn.


Alex.

—it deserves some!
I couldn't possibly comment.

(The "4/4" tag suggests this is part of a series—so I must have missed parts 1 through 3.)
Parts two and three are on the board.
The Piggy Wig (2/4)
https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=36233
The Turkey (3/4)
https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=36281

Part one, is, of course, Lear's original.

That contrast works well.
Thanks. Still not entirely convinced by the name Krakkling.

The transition between stanzas 9 and 10 feels abrupt. The Krakkling’s arc could connect more smoothly to the wisdom it imparts—perhaps a hint earlier that it’s on some sort of journey?
If it is on a journey it's entirely accidental, as it has no idea how it got there (and they are clearly somewhat scatterbrained, poor dear.) Personally I think they're just trying to grow up.
Also it's reacting to the previous poems (Piggy-Wig, Turkey) - the keyword being "antique rhyme" (anti-crime.)

The ending feels a touch too sudden. Since the Krakkling delivers wisdom, we might expect some reaction or resolution before closing out. Would a brief nod to the Owl & Pussycat’s response reinforce the poem’s circular, fable-like nature?
Well, the O&P do eat the Turkey and Piggy-wig (13) – what more reaction do you think is needed?

I hope something here proves useful, Richard. Good luck with it!
Always happy to have food for thought.



Jayne.

I don't remember seeing this before now, for some reason. And - darn it! - it's now past midnight and I have an early start tomorrow.
I blame myself.

While I'm here, though, I'll just make a couple of quick comments. Firstly, I really enjoyed reading it!
Well, that's good to hear.

In (4) I got a bit confused by "they", as I'm used to the old way of using pronouns (Ahem).
Me too, but times change.
Could it be "he" or "it" instead?
It could (and was originally) but it didn't sound quite right. Still, happy to listen again.

In (7) the inversion put me off a bit. Just a suggestion:
I have something I'd like to share... rather than an Insight I would with you share.
I need the word 'insight'. But will revisit. Hmm, perhaps
I have quite the Insight to share ?
I've brought you an Insight to share ?

That's all I can manage for now. I hope to come back to it...
I hope you do too. Thanks for stopping by.


Glenn.

Very enjoyable romp! I’m guessing that the Krakkling’s mentor was Winnie-the-Pooh.
None other.


Thanks all.

RG.