[John Whitworth]

Here is The Oldie Competition No. 111 a bit late but there's still plenty of time.

A poem called 'Three Legs', please, written in three stanzas. Maximum eighteen lines.

Entries to 'Competition' No 110' by 8th May. email comps@theoldie.co.uk Don't forget to include your postal address.

I have already despatched a three stanza poem I had already written which (roughly) fits. For some reason I believe The Oldie allows you two shots (Speccie allows multiple submissions) so I may try with a custom built effort. I suppose after my last Speccie effort I'm in no position tosay don't be indecent, but I think The Oldie might be more polite than the Speccie. I only think. I don't know.

[Marion Shore]

With a title like that, how can they expect you to be polite?

[John Whitworth]

Well, you have right on your side, Marion. This is from a cricket commentary. 'Well, now he's got two short legs and a silly point. It's hardly the time for no balls!' There IS something about the English.

[Roger Slater]

OK, three legs, three minutes:


Three Legs

A dog with just three legs
is lacking for pee legs.

The leg that is missing
was vital for pissing.

Poor three-legged Rover!
He pissed, and fell over.

[Marion Shore]

Originally Posted by John Whitworth

There IS something about the English.

Gosh, yes! You brought us Chaucer, didn't you? The English have always beat us on raunchiness. Remember, it was the Puritans that came here!

[Roger Slater]

THREE LEGS

I have three legs,
two large, one small.
The large ones are short
and the small one is tall.

I have three legs.
Do you find my type odd?
You shouldn't, you know.
I'm much like a tripod

except for one difference
I cannot conceal.
I may have three legs
but just one's made of steel.

[Marion Shore]

Bob!

[Roger Slater]

Originally Posted by Marion Shore

With a title like that, how can they expect you to be polite?

PS--

I just noticed your smiley and found where you got it, Marion. Pretty cool. And now I see your little guy is supposed to be laughing. Good! I was worried it was more like



or god forbid



but I know you are too sophisticated to confuse the persona for the poet.

[Roger Slater]

John, you refer to the current competition by two different numbers, 110 and 111. I have had no success finding any mention of the competition on the Oldie website. Could you please post a link so I can see the rules and also know what number competition it its? Thanks!

PS--
You're not posting late at all. You are posting yet again: http://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showth...ighlight=oldie

[R. S. Gwynn]

Old (bad) joke.

In a public bath:

Guy #1: Y'know, I had polio as a child.
Guy #2: Oh, is that why your third leg's so short?