[Rob Stuart]

Any atheist worth his salt will tell you that he or she can't be certain there is no god, George. The atheist position is simply that there is no good reason, based on the available evidence, to suppose that there is a supernatural explanation for creation, but intellectual honesty precludes them from being categorical about it. I reckon your poem fits the rubric just fine if you changed the first line to 'He who would atheist be.'

[Rob Stuart]

All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made sod all.

[John Whitworth]

An agnostics' hymn would certainly be a hum.

[Brian Allgar]

What you say is true, Rob. But it's rather like saying that a rational being cannot be absolutely certain that the sun will rise tomorrow. It's just that there is no good reason to believe otherwise.

[Chris O'Carroll]

One noted American atheist (the magician Penn Jillette) has said that if you're an agnostic, then your answer to the question "Does God exist?" is "I don't know," but your answer to the question "Do you believe in God" is "No," the same as an atheist's answer. I don't believe he's altogether wrong about that.

[George Simmers]

Here's a thoroughly atheist rewrite:

He who would atheist be,
Let him come hither,
With those who thrill to see
Old credos wither.
We do not give two pins
For lectures on our sins;
We wear superior grins -
We are not pilgrims.

Name any kind of God –
We'll gladly doubt Him.
Here in the awkward squad
We're fine without Him.
We heed no sacred tome.
We'll make no trek to Rome
We'd rather scoff at home.
We won't be pilgrims.

[Adrian Fry]

Chris, I always sidestep this atheist / agnostic definition problem by quoting Dr Jonathan Miller 'I live my life without reference to God.'

[Rob Stuart]

What a friend we have in Darwin,
Whose invaluable research
Proved we’re just another primate
To the chagrin of the Church.
Now we know that every species,
Emus, capybaras, perch,
Even tapeworms are our kindred,
Give two fingers to the Church.

Let the enemies of reason
Try their damnedest to besmirch
Everything this man asserted,
He had proof, unlike the Church.
Let them scan the fossil record
For discrepancies; their search
Will be absolutely fruitless.
Give two fingers to the Church.

[Carolyn Thomas-Coxhead]

Had a fab time meeting Brian at his possibly now-less-than-fave resto du coin on Friday.

That said, since I feel this one isn't a winner, I'll post my draft of an atheist's Gresham's hymn here. If time, I'll have a go at Al My Hope on God is Founded as well.

"Lift up your hearts/ It’s all made up!" tune Woodlands, with apologies to all Old Greshamians

“It’s all made up!” There’s no one there to hear;
Those prayers rise futile into ether clear;
“It’s all made up!” Just myth and stories old,
Invented long ago our minds to mould. our fears t’enfold

Don’t squander time and precious/ priceless mortal vim
Invoking help from some invented “Him”;
Get off your ass/ arse and fix the hitch like men:
See what went wrong, don’t let it chance again.

It’s mankind’s lot, to feel at times perplexed:
Life ain’t no picnic, but no sacred text
Will rescue us from crisis, fear and grief;
The answer’s up to us – without/ deny belief. I really don't like this)

So as we face that fearful, final call,
The one which darkly/ gravely beckons to us all,
“It’s all made up!” should through our minds resound
As after life’s great/vast joys we go to ground.