[Carl Copeland]

Babylon

Your glories fade to horror, Babylon,
from Babel to the Whore of Babylon.

You scraped the sky till God confounded tongues,
lest aspirations soar in Babylon.

The light of Hammurabi, eye for eye,
was blinding in your morning, Babylon.

Your gardens cheered a homesick queen, and by
your waters, there was mourning, Babylon.

In riverbeds beneath your breachless walls,
crept Cyrus with no warning, Babylon.

Sikandar lost no battles, but at home
he lost his lifelong war in Babylon.

In latter days, men stand astride the world
and scale the skies no more in Babylon.

Nebuchadnezzar’s “son” thought he could work
your wonders by restoring Babylon.

He followed you to ruin, down the way
of Sodom and Gomorrah, Babylon.

Borne on a scarlet, seven-headed beast,
you glory in your horror, Babylon.


Edits
S5L1: mighty > breachless

[Glenn Wright]

Very nice ghazal, Carl! You bring us through the Biblical history of Babylon, and you continue through Alexander the Great (Sikandar), but Sodom and Gomorrah are in Israel. You might add a sher on the Crusades, the Balfour Declaration, and the Gulf War. How about using “Mosul and Fallujah” instead of “Sodom and Gomorrah?” In most of your shers, the qaafiyaa is “or(n) in(g),” so maybe that doesn’t work.

[Rick Mullin]

Hi Carl,

I generally don't like ghazals, so I'm always happy to read one I do like.

I think the subject is perfect for a ghazal with it's regional flavor and devotional element. The "or" rhyming in the second lines of each "stanza" (sher?) is well done and prevents the constant repetition from becoming boring. And the length is just right--you more or less push it to the limit.

...Well done!

RM

[John Riley]

A ghazal about history is interesting. You’ve managed to use the repetitions to better effect than usual. Maybe the form is supposed to be more thematically subtle. I don’t know but I like how you do this one.

[W T Clark]

At its root: the ghazal is not suited to you.

You dash off each event like it is an elegant box to tick. One thinks there is more to the fall of the tower of babel than just a summarizing couplet.
I guess it is good to learn history by, though: like those pnumonics you hear to remember the colours of the rainbow.
Hope this helps.

[Paula Fernandez]

Carl--

I really, really like this poem. One reason is that I just learned what a "ghazal" is, so thanks to you (and Glenn) for that. But I also just love how it's tying together a lot of little bits and pieces about Babylon that I had picked up in either biblical or historical studies but never seen all in one place before. Certainly, Babylon has that strong odor of ill-fate and dissolution about it, but by writing about all the sources of that sense in this quick succession you've clarified it for me.

I think the metrics and rhyming work brilliantly. I also like Glenn's idea of working in the modern reference to Mosul and Fallujah (somehow).

The one sher where I couldn't understand the reference was "In latter days, men stand astride the world and scale the skies no more in Babylon." I get that "scale the skies" references the tower of Babel again, but I'm not sure what is meant by "stand astride the world". Perhaps that the men of modern Iraq concern themselves more with political issues than with challenging heaven or building great works? Anyway, you lost me a bit on that one.

But, overall, this is really cool. Thanks!

[Carl Copeland]

Thank you, Glenn. It was Isaiah who said that Babylon would be overthrown like Sodom and Gomorrah (13:19). My “history” of ancient Babylon is sketchy, to the say the least. I omitted over a millennium between Hammurabi and the Babylonian captivity. The city declined after Alexander and was described as a small village by al-Qazwini in the 13th century, so I thought I’d jump right from there to the Apocalypse—with one detour: funny you should mention the Gulf War, because many of the bricks fired in the late 20th century to rebuild Babylon are inscribed: “This was built by Saddam Hussein, son of Nebuchadnezzar, to glorify Iraq”.

[Carl Copeland]

Thanks, Rick. I never thought I’d find enough rhymes for a rather shorter ghazal, but when I thought I was running out, they started popping up, and I ended with rhymes to spare!

[Carl Copeland]

Thanks, John. I suppose you’re right about the lack of subtlety, at least as measured against the classical ideal, which, as I understand it, is for the shers to be linked tenuously and allusively. I’m so glad you enjoyed it, though.

[Carl Copeland]

Thanks, Cameron. It’s hard to resist treating each sher as a bead to be polished and then strung on a thread. Ideally, as John suggested, I think the connection between them should be more subtle and allusive. If only I knew what did suit me. I’ll keep looking.