[John Whitworth]

Bazza gets the fiver and introduces me to a word I have never seen before. Thank you. A win also for Bill Greenwell and an Hon mensh for Sam Gwynn.

The new competition ought to be a breeze.

My love is like an onion... bunion, trunnion... hum!

No. 2735: Funny Valentine
You are invited to take as your first line ‘My love is like a [fill in blank],’ and continue, in light verse, for up to 16 lines. Please email entries, if possible, to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 15 February.