[Jim Moonan]

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Originally Posted by Susan McLean

David and Jim,
Your comments have made me wonder whether men and women read this poem differently, or whether I have not managed to convey adequately that suppression is painful. In some people, the pain turns to vinegar; in some, to a pearl. For me, there are overtones of sadness to emotion that can only be expressed through music, even though the music itself is very beautiful. Perhaps I am seeing a turn here that is visible only to me.

Susan

I don't think it's a matter of male vs. female perspective. In fact, I do see/feel the turn, and do feel the (unspoken) pain. I would think that would be apparent to anyone who reads it closely. Though I would describe the “turn" as being more of a “sitting down” at the piano. It may help to accentuate the turn by putting space between the first ten lines and the last four. I had meant to suggest that in my previous comment. But yes, to me the turn is subtly palpable.

Your analysis of others’ interpretations/impressions are interesting. I didn't sense any other pain than that of loss as the N explores the mystery of a hidden life. The poem enhances the ordinary mystery that we all grow like a patina as we journey through life. So much is hidden. Only those closest to us recognize what lies hidden. The poem’s most striking effect is the subtle silence that arrives in the last four lines as the music takes over to say what words cannot.

The “turn” element that is so closely associated with the sonnet form, in my albeit homespun experience with poetry, is present in every good poem. It happens wherever the beauty of the words expressed allow the reader to experience transcendence. Light allows insight. I am not a sonneteer.

Although the song titles are enclosed in quotation marks, I wish they were instead italicized. Grammatically, I can understand why you’ve done it that way, but emotionally I would like to see the music titles emphasized with italics. Doing so brings the music to life, imo. I also think it's a cleaner look.

As you often do, you've made me go back and read more closely, and some things have appeared that I didn't catch before when I swept through the poem on the momentum of the sentiment/emotion

These lines now strikes me as being slightly off:

Calm and self-effacing
in public, but a whiz at bridge

I don’t see the logic behind the contrast. Why the “but”?


Interestingly, the final four lines are ambiguous in terms of who exactly is speaking. In a sense, the first ten lines are “now/present” being spoken by the adult narrator seeking clues to the woman’s mystery that lies hidden. However, the last four lines shift to be “then/past” and I’m inclined to think it is the child listening to the music and falling asleep to it. No sadness felt; at least not from the child’s perspective.

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