Quote:
Originally posted by Lee Gurga:
David, please believe me when i say with all sincerity that we are all students here. i have been doing this for a long time and i am continually amazed at how stupid i am and how inept many of the haiku i write still are.
Lee
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But wait a minute, I thought you were "The Haiku Guy."
But seriously, here are a few revisions:
morning chill,
long after morning:
lingering fog
the calving glacier
echoes like cannon fire;
a seal pup yawns
two steps beyond
the shadow of the redwoods:
the sun!
reveille --
flushing the toilet,
I drown out the trumpeter
all the beautiful trees --
a vacationing artist
sketches a cabin
millions of summers
in the making:
the sand between my toes
and one more new one from the redwoods:
alone
in the redwoods --
not alone
David R.
Threaded Mode
