[John Whitworth]

No. 2600: Animal Crackers
You are invited to supply a poem (maximum 16 lines) in which either the first line or last line is ‘Whenever you see a rhinoceros’. Entries to ‘Competition 2600’ by 11 June or email lucy@spectator.co.uk.

This is actually quite tricky. I spent a whole hour of swimming up and down like a rhinoceros trying to crack it. The difficulties are

a. The dactylic rhythm
b. The lack of rhymes for 'rhinoceros'

Whenever you see a rhinoceros
Swimming along like a punt
In the Rhine or the Tyne or the Bosphorus
Whenever you see a rhinoceros
You may think his progression prepocerous...

and that's as far as I got. Perhaps I new approach is needed