[basil ransome-davies]

Just an Irish gypsy with an eclectic vocabulary. Jayne's alternative for 'I mind' is spot-on & has gone into my submitted entry, which now reads:


No. 2635: Mea culpa

Why oh why has no one learned the lesson?
The masses only want illicit thrills.
They lack the taste for civilised expression
And can't acquire the proper language skills.

Time was when my instructions would elicit
Well-formed responses, courteously meant,
From banks and such. Good English, how I miss it.
Now keyboard monkeys rule. A sad descent.

My so-called secretary, for example,
Who now and then will deign to type a letter,
Writes barbarous solecisms (here's a sample:
'Our buisness gols'), but I can't get a better.

'There's something rotten,' quoth the gloomy Dane.
He might have meant our culture. Heavy-hearted,
I watch the chav-speak spread and standards wane
hourly, while as for tax – don't get me started!