Algernon, you are not an ugly lad!
Someone had to snap the shot.
True, your acne pits are rather sad
and nothing seems to staunch that stream of snot,
but those are not the reasons dad refused
to let you stand with us. You see his chief
has made it clear: the man is not amused
by ugliness that dwarfs belief.
Now you enjoy those summer holidays
at ritzy beaches where the water's clear.
Those take a wad of cash and Daddy plays
nice fifty weeks in every year.
So put the gun down now. Your daddy's prick
of a boss will be here soon with that troll
he calls his "girl". Back in the closet--quick.
In this family everyman plays his role.
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