[Jayne Osborn]

I've been very slothful; here's my sole attempt:

Oh my, I can’t praise gluttony enough.
I love to eat and eat, to gorge, to stuff
myself until I’m bursting at the seams.
Mmm… fresh cream doughnuts occupy my dreams.

There’s nothing wrong with me. I like my food,
that’s all. Some people can be very rude:
They stare at me and comment that I’m fat.
(As if I’d be put off by things like that.)

I count the hours – no, minutes – from the end
of one meal to the next. I won’t pretend
that I can be abstemious – no way!
Oh look, it’s dinnertime again. Hooray.

Yes, pigging out is just the thing for me.
My raison d’etre? Gluttony. Yippeee!