[Brian Allgar]

I'd forgotten about this one, which no one else seems to have mentioned. The closing date is 20th August - a bit tight, but it gives you the weekend.

The subject is to compose a limerick featuring a word beginning with the letters eq- to ez-.

Here's the link:

http://bit.ly/inv983

And here's the smut that I've come up with so far.


A dentist declared an aversion
To sex, whether straight or perversion.
He confessed: “When in action,
I’m great at extraction,
But never quite mastered insertion.”

A young English rake, Cheam-and-Suttony,
Was erotically guilty of gluttony;
He seduced a spring lamb,
Then he bedded her dam,
But the latter he found rather muttony.

There was a young girl from Stoke Poges
Who yearned, with excitement, to know jizz;
Fellation with Denis
Provided, in Venice,
A fountain as big as the Doge’s.

A lovely young miss from East Anglia
Had piercings progressively danglier.
Her lover said “Hell,
I’m exploring a bell!
Can there be a vagina that’s janglier?”

An exquisite lady from Gloucester
Told a fellow who tried to accoucester:
“Though I’m busy today,
If you’re willing to pay,
Then tomorrow, you’ll be on my roucester.”

There was a young lady from Dallas
Whom suitors found frigid and callous.
She explained, “I was tickled
By Jack, so I’ve pickled
The late-presidential phallus.”

A stripper in theatres off-limit-y
Wore costumes constructed from dimity.
When they asked “Aren’t you hot?”,
She replied “No, I’m not”
As she shed them with great equanimity.

A horse-loving bimbo called Nancy
Went riding, though sozzled and antsy.
This careless equestrian
Killed a pedestrian -
Now she’s the prisoners’ fancy.