Christ, Graham, my head hurts just reading that!
When she was threatened on her blog by a Luger-wielding judge from Baden-Baden, she simply laughed it off. When he sent her a slice of gecko pizza, the little foetuses frozen in gestation inside the Mozzarella bubbles, she dismissed him as a nut-job.
But when he compared her Madame Butterfly to the twittering of a sick sparrow, the diva knew she needed to regain control of her own destiny. Pausing only to don her Queen of the Night costume, she travelled south to the German spa town and slit his throat.
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