[Rob Stuart]

I keep coming up with ones that I actually like, unfortunately. Anyone else having the same problem?

There was a great one on 'Not the Nine O'Clock News' once; 'Let us not be like the blind man in a dark room searching for a black cat that isn't there.' I'm also reminded of Clive James' memorable description of Arnold Schwarzenegger as 'a condom full of walnuts' and Charlie Brooker saying that Ann Widdecombe's face looks 'like a haunted cave in Poland'.