FIFTY SHADES OF DULUX
Let's paint it yellow, I suggested brightly, hoping to end a week of indecision.
Which yellow? my wife asked.
A yellowy yellow, I ventured, Cheerful and . . . well, yellowy.
Men! she exclaimed, opening the Dulux Colour Guide. Choose one.
I studied the page of tiny coloured rectangles. They all look much the same, I said.
Dear God!, she muttered. So pick one with a pin.
Bamboo Shoot? I said.
Too brown, she said.
Wild Primrose?
Too green.
Soft Yellow?
Too pink.
Lemon Zest?
Too yellow!
But we agreed on yellow, I said.
Yes, dear.
When I came home from work next day the kitchen was blue.
It's a yellow blue, she said firmly. . . .
The psychiatrist agrees that my cell's walls show just a hint of Lemon Spirit. But she has the nervous twitch of one who is a little too anxious to please.
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