[Jayne Osborn]

From a large number of entries, many congratulations to Mary for getting the top spot, and to Bill and Carolyn as well for their wins.

"Chestnuts" next time (see new thread).

Jayne

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxThe Oldie Competition
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxby Tessa Castro


In Competition no 179 you were invited to summarise a book in four lines of verse. I enjoyed your entries. Jane Austen, George Orwell and Ernest Hemingway were the most popular authors, but the book (and its component books) most chosen was the Bible.
Commiserations to all the excellent entries for whom there is no room. I’ll cut the cackle to allow as many as possible to figure, to whom congratulations and £8 for each entry printed.
The bonus prize of a Chambers Biographical Dictionary (with its handy notes on her authors, no doubt) goes to Mary McLean.

The Old Man and the Sea
An old man battles with a fish
and spears it dead. What larks!
He dreams that it will taste delish:
and so it does, to sharks.

Crime and Punishment
Raskolnikov, student of nonsense,
engages in brutal attacks,
but finds that his own bloody conscience
is sharper by far than his axe.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxMary McLean


Lady Chatterley’s Lover
The Lord of the Manor was damaged
But his wife had a wonderful ass
And the Gamekeeper quite liked her bottom
– It’s always about f****** class.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxAndrew Lacey

Under the Volcano
The consul’s in love with his wife,
But he’s always as oiled as a tanker.
She returns. What’s the meaning of life?
Ask the dog who’s thrown down the barranca.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxBill Greenwell


Brideshead Revisited
A chance return to Marchmain pile
has Ryder reminiscing
about the Flyte of youth and style
a teddy bear’s been missing.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxNick Grace


Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
One Dr Jekyll, virtuous,
Transforms himself to Mr Hyde,
An ugly villain, murderous.
His saving sin is suicide.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxBarbara Smoker


Emma
Young, wealthy, marriageable, misguided,
Pretty, clever, somewhat of a pain,
A heroine whom none but me will like.
Well – to be honest – you got that right, Jane.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxStephen Callanan


Gone With the Wind
Rhett loves Scarlett and Scarlett loves Ashley.
North and South join battle rashly.
Love and War, set on the southern stages;
It's all resolved in a thousand pages.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxMae Scanlan


Anna Karenina
Anna just wants to lead an exemplary life,
But when she meets Vronsky, this once-moral wife
Is consumed with a passion that fills her with pain,
So, to make it all right she jumps under a train.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxKeith Giles


Mrs Dalloway
She’ll do her own flowers, Clarissa,
cross London to get something arty
so no one can possibly miss her
whole lifetime summed up in one party.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxD A Prince


Metamorphosis
Young Gregor woke one morning in a fug;
He found out why; he’d turned into a bug.
His family couldn’t cope with this at all,
And let him die: sans Gregor, life’s a ball.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxCarolyn Thomas-Coxhead


1984
Plucky prole defies the system,
All-seeing and supremely potent;
Himself becomes a cog or piston,
Through effective use of rodents.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxDavid Shields