[Nigel Mace]

“Oh really, Philip, you know We never
forget a face (well, most hardly ever)
but, since the Season has no proper dates,
We can’t recall all let in through the gates.

Now Will and Cambridge have at last appeared
with Charles and Cornwall and, much as We feared,
Our Andrew has another jade in tow -
at least one ‘face’ We won’t pretend to ‘know’.

There’s Cameron and Corbyn, each with spouse,
not both of whom, from tattle in the House,
thank God, are likely to last out the course.
Caligula, We hear, preferred a horse –
awkward as a Privy Council mascot,
better as a fit for Royal Ascot.
Which petty sneaking knave’s next in the queue?”

“Mr Nick Griffin.” “Ah - how do you do?”

Although I know that they never want titles, I shall think of this (pace Belloc) as "The Garden Party".