[Joe Crocker]

This post has turned into something of an essay. Sorry. My question is in bold at the end.

Philip Larkin’s “This be the verse” is a poem that countless teenagers have committed to memory because it speaks of parents who don’t understand them, because it allows them to say “fuck” and because it’s a great poem. But as we get older and have our own kids it seems a bit one-sided, ignoring the hopeful and heart-warming friction in family life. Sometime in the late ‘90s I was inspired to compose a counterargument to Larkin, quite unaware that many other better poets were doing the same thing. Later on an online poetry site (whose name I can’t remember and is probably now defunct) I came across a version attributed to Adrian Mitchell. I think it went like this

They tuck you up, your mum and dad,
They read you Peter Rabbit, too.
They give you all the treats they had
And add some extra, just for you.

They were tucked up when they were small,
(Pink perfume, blue tobacco-smoke),
By those whose kiss healed any fall,
Whose laughter doubled any joke.

Man hands on happiness to man,
It shines out like a sweetshop shelf
So love your parents all you can
And have some cheerful kids yourself.

A typically life-affirming Adrian Mitchell poem. The line that really sang to me was “It shines out like a sweetshop shelf” and when I compared his version with my own, I understood why he was a poet and I was pretending.

But…

I recently bought an Adrian Mitchell anthology ("Come On Everybody", Bloodaxe 2012) and the line I love isn’t there. The final verse simply has the original Larkin line “It deepens like a coastal shelf”. It feels to me that the sweetshop line serves Mitchell’s message much better and is the sort of thing I think he would write.

I searched for the sweetshop line on Google and it led me here to the Eratosphere site. Longtime Eratosphere member John Whitworth reproduced a similar example containing the line and attributed it to Mitchell. However, he acknowledged that his version was from memory and he had written his own parody (published in Poetry Review), as had the poet Simon Rae. I have tracked down several “This be the verse” parodies but haven’t found those ones. I sent John a personal message yesterday, not realising that he died recently. I contacted Bloodaxe to ask if they had any ideas and Neil Astley suggested that it may be an earlier draft or perhaps it was an impromptu revision typical of Mitchell's live performances

So my question is: where does the Sweetshop line come from? I sort of hope it is by Adrian Mitchell, but might it be from John Whitworth, Simon Rae or someone else. Or is my version a garbled mix of several parodies?

My thanks in advance to anyone willing to help.