I loved this right away, David. This has bite, like many of my favorites of yours. But a happier bite, haha. Speaking of Larkin, yeah, unfortunately Mark I think was right that the original was a little too close (with the “enormous” there). Which sucks because the way it was put seems to be so your voice. “unconditional” is flat in comparison, imo.
I’m not sure about hubble bubble, especially if you are referring to the actual technical term (
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hubble_bubble_(astronomy)? (I still don’t understand what the hell that is…) But probably this is just an expression that I’m unfamiliar with...? In the end, like others, I’m not sure how bothered I am with the original, though I too would probably be tinkering with other possibilities. These small issues aside, again, I think this is terrific, and love the close.
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