Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt Q
I'm guessing you intended to lose, "early", as it's redundant? Otherwise L3 is hexameter. I do think it's better without "early".
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Right, my original version didn’t have “early.” I’ve fixed that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt Q
I don't think "how heavily you weigh" sounds awkward in itself, but it does rather raise the question, "on what?". I think the version above makes it clearer as to who "you" is -- that it isn't self-address. It does seem more awkward though, with that inversion. And shouldn't it be "heavily"? Though I think this construction is more acceptable in the US.
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Yes, that’s the quandary I’m in, and the anomalous IP line in my first version tipped me in favor of the new one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt Q
Thanks for the links. I found a few of his poems online, too.
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Well, if you’re really, really interested, there are these too:
https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=35902
https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=35881
https://www.ablemuse.com/erato/showthread.php?t=35757
I don’t advertise the latter two, because the poems are seriously twisted.
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