[Susan McLean]

Day of the Dead (second revision)

As if the day had taken on her calm
and warmth, a sky serene and blue extends
above the blazing maples. While her friends
and family gather, breezes soft as balm
flutter the tablecloths and vibrant vases
of cannas and zinnias. How can we remember,
given our lively chat and smiling faces,
we're picnicking in volatile November?

Above the tableful of photos flies
a vee of geese, still low, in close formation,
honking in concord as they carry on
their sociable, long-distance conversation.
We pause to watch them as they slowly rise
and fade until, like Mother, they are gone.


Revisions:
L3 "While" was "As"
L6 "How can we" was "Who can now"
L7 "given" was "seeing"


Day of the Dead (revision)

As if the day had taken on her calm
and warmth, a sky serene and blue extends
above the blazing maples. As her friends
gather, a breeze as gentle as a balm
flutters the tablecloths and vibrant vases
of cannas and zinnias. Who can now remember
we're picnicking in volatile November,
seeing our lively chat and smiling faces?

Above the tableful of photos flies
a vee of geese, still low, in close formation,
honking in concord as they carry on
their sociable, long-distance conversation.
We pause to watch them as they slowly rise
and fade until, like Mother, they are gone.


Day of the Dead

As if the day had taken on her calm
and warmth, a sky serene and blue extends
above the blazing maples. As her friends
and family gather, gentle as a balm
the breeze flutters the tablecloths and vases
of cannas and zinnias. Who can now remember
we're picnicking in volatile November,
seeing our lively chat and smiling faces?

Above the tableful of photos flies
a vee of geese, still low, in close formation,
honking in concord as they carry on
their sociable, long-distance conversation.
We pause to watch them as they slowly rise
and fade until, like Mother, they are gone.