[Mark McDonnell]

Thank again, folks.

Matt - I will think about "by that tree". I get your point. Maybe "round that tree"? Anyway, leave it with me haha.

Richard - I'm pretty happy with the length of it. It's a ballad and they sometimes ramble. I don't think the opening gives too much away; it sets up the idea of a ghostly dog, that's all, and then by the end of the narrative it's revealed what he's doing there. It seems pretty standard for a supernatural legend.

Similarly, L1 here is really awkward (what with its extra beat.)

Though he'd promised perfumes sent from France
And the finest satin gown,
He left without a backward glance
On horseback to the town.

I don't think it has an extra beat. I feel like by this point in the poem a reader will be in the rhythm of the tetrameter and would naturally read the line as starting with an anapest ("Though he'd promised perfumes sent from France")

Thanks for all your other suggestions and for sticking with this.

Hello Alessio! Welcome to the Sphere. And thank you for the kind words.

Well, Evie has read the poem at the Brinscall folk festival on Saturday. My brother sent me the video. She read the first draft I sent her before I posted it here. I gave her one revision but didn't want to keep bombarding her with more, but I've really enjoyed improving this with your help. She rattled through it a bit, through nerves I'm sure, but she did really well and got big applause at the end. I put it on my Facebook if anyone fancies a look.

Cheers all! I reckon the ghostly dog can rest now.