Eratosphere Forums - Metrical Poetry, Free Verse, Fiction, Art, Critique, Discussions Able Muse - a review of poetry, prose and art

Forum Left Top

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
  #1  
Unread 11-24-2004, 07:59 AM
Carol Taylor Carol Taylor is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2000
Location: Houston, TX, USA
Posts: 7,827
Post

<table background="http://www.fischerpassmoredesign.com/images/marble.jpeg" width=750 border=0 cellpadding=25>
<tr><td>
[center]<table background="http://www.fischerpassmoredesign.com/images/tinceiling.jpeg" cellpadding=25 border=3 bordercolor=black>
<tr><td>
[center]<table bgcolor=white width=500 cellpadding=40 border=3 bordercolor=black>
<tr><td>The Nature of This

The summer's coming to a close.
The river where we panned for gold
will soon be strewn with broken leaves.
The sego lily and the rose
have quieted. Today it seems
that all the world is gentling.
We have let go of clutching things.
Here we watch the seasons go
and come with a surprising ease.

It isn't that we're growing old.
It isn't that we've bested fear
or that we never wake to know
in spite of love, we die alone.
The air is cool and sweet with change.
Breathe in, it says, and let go.
It is enough to fall in love.
To fall in love and watch the world unfold.

</td></tr>
</table>
</td></tr>
</table>
</td></tr>


<tr><td>
<table background="http://www.fischerpassmoredesign.com/images/frost3.jpeg" cellpadding=25 border=3 border>
<tr><td>
[center]<table bgcolor=white cellpadding=25 border=0>
<tr><td>

I like the way this poem uses the "close/gold/know" rhymes and half-rhymes to thread the lines together. It has a bell-like quality, that repetition, that works well with tetrameter lines. The lines tend to such regularity that the three different ones--lines 6 and 15 one syllable short, and 17 longer by a foot--feel unjustified and not quite satisfying. If the differences had been greater, maybe they would have worked better: small differences in meter seem to trouble the ear more than big ones, because they feel just "off" enough to be mistakes and not enough to be deliberate play.

The ending doesn't feel quite justified by what precedes it, either. Seasonal imagery suggests aging, regret for lost youth, not the value of falling in love, and certainly not watching "the world unfold." If there is a connection between the "letting go" theme of stanza one and this very surprising ending, I'm missing it and hope someone will point it out to me.

~Rhina


</td></tr>
</table>
</td></tr>
</table>


</td></tr>
</table>
Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



Forum Right Top
Forum Left Bottom Forum Right Bottom
 
Right Left
Member Login
Forgot password?
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Statistics:
Forum Members: 8,523
Total Threads: 22,720
Total Posts: 280,011
There are 1634 users
currently browsing forums.
Forum LeftForum Right


Forum Sponsor:
Donate & Support Able Muse / Eratosphere
Forum LeftForum Right
Right Right
Right Bottom Left Right Bottom Right

Hosted by ApplauZ Online