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Unread 11-26-2004, 04:59 PM
Carol Taylor Carol Taylor is offline
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Location: Houston, TX, USA
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I definitely read gentling with the requisite 3 syllables in the context and the assonance of its secondary stressed syllable with "things." But line 15 is a syllable short and really clunks for me. I could have accepted the pentameter final line to give closure if the other lines were all tet, but with the memory of line 15 so fresh in my mind, instead of closure I finish up with something left over. I suspect that was the intention, but I find it too clever for its own good.

The other surprising thing about the way the poem ends is the time sequence. Falling in love (as opposed to being in love) is immediate, something happening right now, not something the couple did seasons ago. The sense of immediacy is borne out by the cool sweet air of change, of letting go, of watching the world unfold. So just when this lazy reader was prepared for a couple's serene acceptance of the end of their summer, I find them falling in love, a mid-life romance between two people who have already seen quite a bit of the world unfold. The poem is delightful--if you'd just add a beat to line 15!

Carol

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