[Terese Coe]

Oh, Gail, those New Yorker captions are tough (I never send in), but some of the winners have been a hoot!

Rhinoceros


I am the odd-toed ungulate
Much endangered here in the jungulate.
Why that should be is well beyond me,
But it’s something to do with my horn, my horn,
It’s something to do with my horn.

The truth is you’ll never be prosperous
Hunting for horn of rhinoceros—
There isn’t a stiffy this side of the Liffey
That ever was caused by my horn, my horn
That ever was caused by my horn.

Have you got it? That horn stuff is twaddle—
Now get on your camel and toddle.
I may not have brains, but you’ll have no remains
If you don’t see the point of the horn, the horn,
If you don’t see the point of the horn
Whenever you see a rhinoceros.