[Lance Levens]

In Vino Insanitas

(I want a deep fried Mars Bar)

I once drank a bottle of Jack in the Black,
went down to the beach with my head on the wrack.

I cursed and sputtered and spat at the hordes
(They were dressed like preppies with credit card swords).

In the fight I reclaimed the girl who just dumped me
and passed a math quiz that just recently stumped me

In a month I was deaf, in a year I was blind.
In another whatever I had labelled my mind

was still on the beach with the booze and the fray
and doing damn well for a bodiless fey.

So don't get morose when she gives you a dose
of come uppance in kind. Get comatose!