Please take away those trendy trainers,
That loathsome pair of pocket-drainers!
I’m still a fan of breathing leather,
The best for any wind or weather.
I hate the feel of foam-lined rubber
Like sinking toes in boiling blubber
As, man in street or John Paul Getty,
They make your feet all hot and sweaty
Your soles are left as soft as jelly
And also, to be blunt, quite smelly,
Which leads to toxic ‘trainer-odour’
Unmaskable by spray or soda.
Despite the fashionistas’ booing,
I spit on such new-fangled shoeing.
I‘d rather stroll my village starkers
Than go without my good old Barkers!
(Barkers of Earls Barton, as Jayne will know. The N.)
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