[John Whitworth]

I suppose 'hearing-impaired' ought to mean 'a bit deaf'. There were those nineteenth century (was it?) gradations of blindness; sand-blind, gravel-blind and stone blind.

I have noticed that the word 'fat' is now banned from The Spectator Coffee House. When I say Ed Balls is fat they wait for me to tone it down to stout, which is allowed. Though it seems to be OK to call Baroness Ashton ugly (not that I do) which is curious and perhaps sexist.

I am of moderate stoutness and the tiniest bit thinking-impaired if that means forgetting things which I perfectly well know, or did know five minutes ago.