[Brendan Beary]

http://tinyurl.com/alnc4zr


The cork let's pop, the wine decant
For the father of the cochlear implant.
Glasses raised, let's give a cheer
To William House, we say, "Hear! Hear!"

This week: Write a humorous poem about someone who died in 2012, as in the example above by Washington Post Senior Silly Tweeter Gene Weingarten. It doesn’t have to rhyme, but in the Empress’s experience, rhyming verses tend to be funnier. (They also tend to scan a bit better than the second line of the above.) Short verses are more likely to make the print paper, but the best longer poems (including song parodies) will be published in the online Invite. You can find various lists of "notable deaths of 2012" etc., online.

Compared with some of our other contests, our obit-poem challenge does call for a certain restraint in content and tone: Unless you're talking about an Osama-level evildoer, don't give three cheers that the person has met his demise, or predict that his soul is heading netherward.

Winner gets the Inkin' Memorial, the bobblehead that is the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a toilet-shaped ceramic coffee cup that, set out on your breakfast table, could help you in your resolution not to overeat. Donated by Andrea Kelly.

Other runners-up win their choice of a yearned-for Loser Mug or the ardently desired Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders receive a smelly, tree-shaped air "freshener" (FirStink for their first ink).

E-mail entries to losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Include "Week 1004" in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored as spam. Deadline is Monday, Jan. 14; results published Feb. 3 (online Jan. 31). Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your entry. No more than 25 entries per entrant per week.

See contest rules and guidelines at http://wapo.st/inviterules. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at http://on.fb.me/invdev.

[John Whitworth]

Thank you, Brendan. I shall hae a g at that. I won a Christmas tree a few months ago. Let me see if I can progress. Charles Chiltern died a few days ago. Ah! I can see you don't know who he was. A childhood hero.

[Roger Slater]

John, remember your subject must have died during 2012.

[Roger Slater]

Here are the results of the same contest when it ran last year, just to give you an idea of the kind of thing that Pat favors.

[John Whitworth]

Oh yeah. It's 2013 now isn't it? Whoops

[FOsen]

I'll bet you'd find Sir Patrick Moore worth a flutter, John.

[John Whitworth]

Thank you, Frank. I shall go with that thought.

[Douglas G. Brown]

"No more than 25 entries per entrant per week"

Wow, sounds like they will look at anything. Perhaps I'll enter a horribly tasteless eulogy about a kid who got sucked into a wood chipper.

[Brian Allgar]

I was reading the list of deaths in 2012, and came to:

Peace - European Union

I hadn't noticed that after the deaths, there was another section for Nobel prizes.

[Roger Slater]

Douglas, tasteless is fine to a degree. But her blog specifically says no Newtown poems, for example, and you can probably imagine other verboten subjects. You can submit a lot of poems, but that doesn't mean that absolutely anything goes.