[Douglas G. Brown]

Gates' Heaven

A documentary on the decline and bankruptcy of Apple Corporation (The first reel is already in the can).

(Heaven's Gate)

[Roger Slater]

My favorite of these is Brian's "Looking for good bar, Mister?"

Douglas, you added an "s" to one of your words. You can change punctuation, including apostrophes, but you have to use the words exactly. So sayeth the Empress on Facebook

[Roger Slater]

By the way, it's not the Washington Post tradition to publicly post potential entries in advance of the deadline, especially when, as in this contest, there's bound to be a lot of independent overlap. I'm sure that Pat will receive multiple titles that are exactly the same and will select the entry with the funniest description.

Also, many people start their preparations for a contest like this with a Google search looking for inspiration. They might find a bit too much inspiration if they stumble on this thread. I've gone ahead and placed the search-block codes in this post. I believe it will, within a few hours, apply retroactively to the entire thread.

[Jayne Osborn]

That's good. Thanks for doing that, Bob.

I'd decided to keep schtum and not to post them here, anyway. (Kind of adopting Bill Greenwell's strategy and hoping for something to rub off on me... hmm, who am I kidding? )

Jayne

[Douglas G. Brown]

Originally Posted by Roger Slater

My favorite of these is Brian's "Looking for good bar, Mister?"

Douglas, you added an "s" to one of your words. You can change punctuation, including apostrophes, but you have to use the words exactly. So sayeth the Empress on Facebook

Roger,
Thanks for the "heads up" on the rules!

“Life” … It’s - A - Wonderful. Sentenced to life without parole for a murder he did not commit, Lawrence Welk finds true happiness after he organizes a prison band.
(It’s A Wonderful Life)

Once! (Upon a Mattress). Hilary Clinton’s home video on how Chelsea came to be, digitally re-mastered into a 15 minute short.
(Once Upon a Mattress ... OK, So this was just a made-for-TV movie; the WP will never choose it, anyway)

Singer; The Jazz. Lusty tale of the 19th century sewing machine tycoon’s romp in a New Orleans bordello, and his surprising captivation with an emerging music genre.
(The Jazz Singer)

[Carolyn Thomas-Coxhead]

Nice ones, Brian.

I was keeping mine below the hat but as I doubt I'll be Inked, here they are anyway:

Miss Daisy Driving!: A warning goes out to all road users in the city as a wealthy Tennessee banker’s young daughter grabs the wheel of the family car.

Her From Away: Residents of a quiet neighborhood take umbrage against an incomer and her unfamiliar habits.

Pitch Fever: Tear-jerking drama following the supporters’ guild of a baseball team from the sticks which rises to unexpected heights in the national league.

The Patient English: A group of would-be losers from the UK works out coping strategies for their prodigious lack of success with The Empress.

Desire of Wings: Fun for all the family in this latest Disney extravaganza about Icarus, the legend.


13 Moons Within a Year: Sci-fi nail-biter, a domesday movie for our environmentally-threatened times.

Club Jane Austen: The Book: A group of post-modern academics records the minutiae of its plans as it gathers to exact a personal vengeance on an early nineteenth century novelist.

Smokin’ Cheech and Still Chong: An unlikely pair of First Nation tribal leaders joins forces against the settlers in this fast-moving western epic.

Sisterhood Secrets of the Divine Ya Ya: Female cult worshippers are pursued for the mystery of their beatific state.

Ryan Saving – Private! Emotionally challenged teenager attempts to conceal his thrifty habits in the face of opposition from his consumer-focused peers.

Dynamite Napoleon! Breakaway group of suicide mercenaries intent on bringing an end to the sickening loss of life in the Peninsular Wars draws up a cunning plan.

Project The Blair Witch; UK New Labour spin-doctors resort to bread and human circuses and a stunt to use unpopular PM’s wife as a human cannonball in this political docu-drama for our times.

(The) Rabbit Who Framed Roger: World No 1 tennis pro brought down by a conniving rival known only for his Cotton-tail Suit disguise.

Vita La Dolce: Charming period biopic featuring bisexual garden designer and her fascinating string of lovers.

Mary! There’s Something About!: In an homage to Hammer House of Horror, young girl on a country house weekend stumbles into a nightmare.

Holiday Roman: historic feel-good movie about the tender side of a seasoned gladiator on vacation.

Samurai Seven: Determined to win a Daily Mail Rugby Sevens Championship, a group of fanatical amateurs will stop at nothing to achieve its goal.

Glory of Paths: Artist Christo is the focus of this beautifully-shot art movie about the emotionally tender side of his wrapping enterprise.

Man The Third! : When panic breaks out on a stricken cruise ship and lifeboats start capsising one by one, a brave steerage class steward takes charge.

[Brian Allgar]

Carolyn, there are several excellent ones here; 'The Patient English' may well tickle the Empress's fancy. The others may be equally good, but unfortunately there are a lot of titles I don't recognize. (That's why I put the original titles in italics after mine.)

To post or not to post? Over the past year, I've held opposing views, but in the end I've concluded that it makes no difference whether you do so or not, and that applies to the NS, Spectator and Oldie as well as the WP. (The case of the Literary Review is more extreme - it makes no difference whether or not you even submit an entry. But that's a subject that need no longer preoccupy us.)

Sometimes I've kept what I thought was a particularly good entry under wraps, only to have it share the fate of a lead balloon. On other occasions, I've taken the risk of posting a so-so entry, which ended up winning.

And vice versa.

[Carolyn Thomas-Coxhead]

It's a rummy thing Brian but while I was working on them I had the original titles on the page - and then deleted them before sending, going by the model of the examples, I suppose. Completely bonkers. Can blame it on nothing.