[Ann Drysdale]

John, you really will have to stop stalking Holly. Are you taking your medication?

[Brian Allgar]

Excellent stuff, John.

I'm thinking of sending the following (slightly modified) naughty piece that I originally wrote for Martin's LightenUp Online competition:

Seaside Earthquake

Full fathom five my car key lies.
In the back seat, I was going
Well with Coral; gasps and sighs,
Limbs entwined and juices flowing.

Pretty soon, the car was shaking
As we passionately played -
You’d have thought the earth was quaking! -
With my bone was Coral made.

Then her sister joined the humping
(Those are Pearl’s delicious thighs).
Our athletic grind-and-bumping
Freed the handbrake. Bad surprise!

The sloping beach, the car in motion -
Seawards it began to spin; it
Ended up beneath the ocean,
And, of course, the key’s still in it.


An alternative (and much nastier) last line:

Key (and both the girls) still in it.

[Peter Goulding]

Delicious Brian (and John too)
Brian, I much prefer your alternative ending but that's just me. Would maybe have a look at 'Bad surprise'?

[John Whitworth]

Ann, I have written gay love poems but this is not one of them. Holly is not Brunnhilde's thrusting thighs, really he is not. And I don't actually think he lives in Margate.

Margate swings, Ann. Tracy Emin says so.

[Ann Drysdale]

Like a pendulum do?

[Jayne Osborn]

Here you go, Annie: A blast from the past:
good ole Roger Miller with his "Eng-a-land swings, like a pendulum do..."

Jayne

[Jerome Betts]

And there, expecting does, I'd always assumed it must be 'pendulum doo', doo being some American term for the rounded part at the end.
You live and learn.