[John Whitworth]

Dear Santa (Edgar Allan Poe)

Ghostly, ghastly bearded spectre from the yuletide retail sector,
Northern arctic elf-director, hear the sum of what I ask.
First, a whip to bastinado a repellent desperado,
Next, the best amontillado in an ancient Spanish cask,
Yes, a choice amontillado in an ancient Spanish cask
Will be suited to the task.

Then a fatal female vampire from the smoke of her own damn pyre
To improve the devil's empire where my soul is wont to bask.
And a costume, rich, resplendent, with a blood-red ruby pendant,
For I need to be attendant at a certain deadly masque
Yes, a rich, resplendent costume with a bodice or a basque,
For a certain deadly masque,

Last - I love those early-comers - send a girl of thirteen summers,
Ere the curse of Death the Drummer's sent her ashes to a flask.
This is all I have to ask

[Sylvia Fairley]

Lovely, John - it's the way you tell 'em...

[Sylvia Fairley]

And Brian's too. Very clever. I think you do Lewis Carrol even better than he did!

[John Whitworth]

Who is Sylvia? Who is she? She's a honey, all agree.

[Brian Allgar]

Splendid, John. Perhaps it's a pity about the singular/plural rhymes in the last stanza. What about something like:

xxLast - I love those early-comers - send a girl of thirteen summers,
xxEre the curse of Death the Drummer's sent her ashes to a flask.
xxThis is all I have to ask

As for Sylvia Fairley, she is of course a distinguished name in the competition world. I suggested that she join the Sphere, on the grounds that "If you can't beat them, get them to join you."

[John Whitworth]

Brian, that last line is great. I'll pinch it. Ta ever so. I was mucking aroun with that for ages. I was reckoning 'bummer send' was OK, though of course the rhyme is not exact. But Poe doesn't always get his rhymes right.

Dammit! early-comers is good too. He did too, like many Victorians. And more people nowadays than you would think.

[Sylvia Fairley]

Who is Sylvia... One half of a phone conversation: 'Who is?'... 'Sylvia?'... What?"... "Is she...?!"

[Brian Allgar]

[quote=John Whitworth;305568]Early-comers is good too. He did too, like many Victorians./quote]

Perhaps you could naughty it up bit:

xxLast, a boon for early-comers, send a girl of thirteen summers

[Brian Allgar]

Originally Posted by Sylvia Fairley

Who is Sylvia... One half of a phone conversation: 'Who is?'... 'Sylvia?'... What?"... "Is she...?!"

"... Eh? ... 'All hearse wanes'? What's that supposed to mean?"

[Julie Steiner]

A Book of Verses underneath the Holly Bough,
A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread--and fifty Thou.

[strikethrough]Omar[/strikethrough] Edward