[Jayne Osborn]

Plenty of scope with this one. (I might even manage an entry this month, if I can remember how to write a poem!!)

Jayne

COMPETITION NO 176
by Tessa Castro‘

Over the hills and far away’ was the only tune that the piper’s son could play. On whatever subject you choose, I’d like to read a poem with the title ‘Over the hills and far away’. Maximum 16 lines.

Entries to ‘Competition No 176’ by post (The Oldie, 65 Newman Street, London W1T 3EG), fax (020 7436 8804) or email
comps@theoldie.co.uk by 2 May 2014.
Please include your postal address.

[John Whitworth]

I thought I had posted this, but it seems I didn't.

Over the Hills and Far Away

Over the hills and far away
Was always to my liking.
I need to put the car away
And rediscover hiking.

I packed my old guitar away
That sang how love was fleeting.
I gave my caviar away
And took up healthy eating.

I threw the old cigar away
Because I thought I oughter.
I pushed the foaming jar away
And took up barley water

I wished my old hurrah away
And thought I could forget it.
I wished my wandering star away
And oh, how I regret it!

[Brian Allgar]

Originally Posted by Jayne Osborn

(I might even manage an entry this month, if I can remember how to write a poem!!)

You know how to write a humorous poem, don't you, Jayne? You just put your quips together, and go!

[Roger Slater]

Over The Hills and Far Away

Over the hills and far away
beats under the hills and near,
and so I'm setting off today
over the hills and far away
where I may chant this triolet
and have no wrath to fear.
Over the hills and far away
beats under the hills and near.

[Rob Stuart]

Over the hills and far away
I fancy there’s a better life;
A sky that’s blue instead of grey,
A somewhat bigger-titted wife,

An end to all these sodding bills,
A bit more hair, a slimmer waist,
A son who isn’t hooked on pills,
A daughter who is sweet and chaste.

Over the hills and far away
There’s no confusion, lies or war.
It’s one long, carefree holiday
Where all have love and joy galore,

And God makes His existence clear
To thwart the doubting Thomases,
And no one ever has to hear
Nick Clegg make empty promises.

[John Whitworth]

Who is Joy Galore and what is her breast size. I think we should be told.

[Douglas G. Brown]

When our relationship went bust,
My wife sped off in my Chevrolet,
Trailed by a roiling cloud of dust,
Over the hills and far away.

Up to a lofty mountain top,
Down a ravine on the other side,
Crashing a fence, “Bridge Out, Please Stop”;
(Witnesses think it was suicide.)

Gone, was my burden of forty years …
And then, her niece came into my life;
A spittin’ image of Britney Spears,
Saying she wished to be my wife.

Now, I must end this silly lay
And concentrate on carnal thrills;
My friend, go buy a Chevrolet,
And send your wife beyond the hills.