[Simon Hunt]

I can see why the TSDG likes this one--the allusions in his/her write-up seem apt to me. I don't like it as much in large part because of lines 13 and 14. When you've only got 14 lines to work with, giving one away to sheer repetition seems a shame unless the repetition really packs a punch. Here the final couplet for me doesn't add much; indeed it's equal parts didactic telliness, needless repetition, and anticlimax. The strong ending is the weird and cryptic and ominous nothing is in store!

A couple other thoughts:

The absence of "an" in "late for appointment" is distracting to me. Did ever a native speaker of English actually say I am late for appointment? Tontoism?

Line 8's metrical sub works for me, but I have a hard time saying 7 because my ear wants to emphasize LOUD...