[Douglas G. Brown]

On day seven, Jehovah made fruitcake; then rested -
Assured, for endurance, it couldn’t be bested.
No object from six days of Godly ability
Could outlast a fruitcake for sheer durability.

As man reached the threshold of civilization,
He found, though ’twas marginal as a collation,
(It lacking the essence for epicure’s liking);
As a gift, that a fruitcake’s ideal for recycling.

First given on Christmas in 1904;
A fruitcake, then sent in the Second World War
From a miner in Wales to an orphan in Seoul;
This June, was received by a Kurd on the dole.

The nuclear theorists are sorely annoyed
That fruitcake can neither be made nor destroyed.
Reciting these verses has rendered me breathless;
Unlike me, a fruitcake is utterly deathless.