[Mary McLean]

Well, here goes. There was no way wolf was going to work with rhymes, so I tried a different animal.

My Bear

I would like to eat you, bear.
I want to swallow you whole.
I’m crazy hungry now, I swear,
to cook up a bear casserole.

First I’ll marinate you, bear,
whiskers singeing over my stove.
I’ll keep you simmering gently, with some care.
This recipe’s a treasure trove.

(Refrain)
Ah hou...hou hou hou hou hou hou
Sweet sweet honey, my bear, I love you.
Ah hou...hou hou hou hou hou hou
Sweet sweet honey, I love you.

I will savour you, my bear,
seasoned with bouquet garni.
I will stir your senses to despair
and melt you in my bain-marie.

I will chop you to bits, my bear,
strip you like orange peel.
That zesty skin you’ll no longer wear,
and no more hunger will I feel.

(Refrain)

Your salt and pepper mingle there
like sweet and sour with my angel-hair.

I will overstuff you, bear.
I want to get stuck in your crop.
Reset the table and whip out your pair... of chairs.
I’ll lay the fixings out on top.

You would like to dine elsewhere,
butter both sides of your bread?
Treat me like an hors d’oeuvre if you dare:
I’ll make you wish you were dead.

(Refrain)

Added in: audio link! And edited text above to match final version as discussed in post 6. I think you'll get an error when you click on the link, but if you click the download button for this file (Voice 003.m4a) and save it to disk it should play.
https://www.dropbox.com/s/g3dfufjh20...20003.m4a?dl=0

[Claudia Gary]

Mary, that's superb! And I think the reference to hors d'oeuvres deserves extra credit.

My only quibble is with the penultimate line of the penultimate stanza. It might work better metrically (and avoid an internal rhyme) if you say "pull up two chairs."

Claudia

[Susan McLean]

Your version is fun, Mary!

Susan

[Mary McLean]

Thanks, Susan and Claudia! Yes, that line is tricky. The sung version has quite a pause before 'mon Chou,' so I'm not sure I like breaking after a preposition like that, but it's worth considering. (It would also let me switch to a singular chair, which is a better rhyme).

Edited to add: the other thing I was considering with that line is to use the pause for more of a double entendre:
Reset the table and whip out your pair....of chairs

[Martin Rocek]

Mary, this is great!

Claudia,
I would like to clarify that Challenges 1&3 are not my doing--I just posted them for someone who didn't quite have the time to run the whole show.

Martin

[Kyle Norwood]

A loose translation, true to the spirit of the song, I hope . . .

My Wolf

Wolf, I want to eat you up,
you’re the dish I’m crazy for,
I’ll wrap your legs around my neck,
I’ll push you through my oven door.

Wolf, I want to marinate you,
My heat will curl your moustache hair,
I’ll slowly cook you in your skin,
And you’ll be glad you left your lair,

Ah oo . . . oo oo oo oo oo oo,
Sweet sweet wolfie, I love you.

Wolf, I long to taste and enjoy you,
spice you with my magic charm,
take my time to drive you crazy,
heat you up and do you harm.

Wolf, I want to cut you up,
Peel you like a juicy lime,
You’ll have nothing left to give,
And I’ll be happy all the time,

Ah oo . . . oo oo oo oo oo oo,
Sweet sweet wolfie, I love you.

Mix your salt and pepper with my sweet and sour,
You’ll be glad you’re in my power.

I will stuff you like a goose,
I’ll ride you in my riding hood,
Dinner’s done, my sweetie pie,
Better set the table ‘cause we taste so good.

Wolf, you want to mess me up,
Powder me and put me to bed,
You think I’ll be a tasty treat,
But I’ll wolf you down like buttered bread.

Ah oo . . . oo oo oo oo oo oo,
Sweet sweet wolfie, I love you.

[Catherine Chandler]

... and don't forget "chou" is both a term of endearment and also "cabbage".

[Mary McLean]

Kyle, I like it. The last stanza in particular works better than I thought such a literal translation would. There's a lot my version misses out on by losing the wolf (not least the howl of the refrain).

[Martin Rocek]

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