It wouldn't do to leave the subject without a tribute to the much-maligned Dr Spooner and his apocryphal sayings. Here are some of the things he never said, with translations for those unfamiliar with the good doctor.
- "A toast to our queer old dean!" ("dear old queen")
- "Is it kisstomary to cuss the bride?" ("customary to kiss")
- "The Lord is a shoving leopard." ("loving shepherd")
- "We have suffered a blushing crow." ("crushing blow")
- "A well-boiled icicle" ("well-oiled bicycle")
- “They were sitting in a nosey little cook (“cosy little nook”)
- “They searched every crook and nanny (“nook and cranny”)
- "Is the bean dizzy?" ("Dean busy")
- "Please sew me to another sheet." ("Please show me to another seat.")
- "You have hissed all my mystery lectures; you have tasted two whole worms; you were caught fighting a liar in the quadrangle; and you must leave Oxford by the next town drain." ("You have missed all my history lectures; you have wasted two whole terms; you were caught lighting a fire in the quadrangle; and you must leave Oxford by the next down train.”)
Low song and cake tear, Allen.
Hybrid Mode
