[Jim Ramsey]

Hi Michael,

I liked this from my first reading. Then, still liking it, I read James's comment that the questions seemed piled on. At that point I thought this might be even better if no questions were asked by the N and only the reader were allowed to infer the natural ones the circumstances and images bring to mind. In other words, the N's questions are too telly maybe. Anyway, like I said, I liked the poem as is immediately.

All the best,
Jim

[Jayne Osborn]

Michael,

This is marvellous; I really love it! On first reading it, it brought to mind one of my all-time favourite poems, "Naming of Parts" by Henry Reed.

Both poems talk about a specific thing, i.e. a dilapidated house and how to clean a rifle, with each stanza ending with a pastoral image.

I haven't got any nits with it, as it is. Just praise for a well-written poem. I'll be interested to see if/how you revise it in any way.

Jayne

[Richard G]

Hi Michael,
perhaps there are one or two too many questions.
Could S3 continue the thought/s of S2 and start "They'd make this a tight ..."? Thus leaving the delightfully long question of that stanza on its own?
Small nits: how was it a shrine, and to whom/what? The marsh gave me pause (but that's me not knowing the geography.) Is scavengers the right word? (Here they'd be called wreckers.) And might the ending be 'Gulls are screaming at the sun.'?

RG.