[David Callin]

Hi Trevor, sorry, I can only add to the litany of "it's good, and it's interesting, but it's not poetry" comments you've had so far.

I know by now that you like animal poems. Have you read any of D. H. Lawrence's poems in that genre? He's not afraid to put himself into the poem, along with the animal, and the result can be electrifying (although it's still mostly about the animal). I can give you the names of a few of them, if you're interested. You might find it an approach that suits you too.

Cheers

David